17 days NC

Hey PAlmtree, i know it is a struggle when there is a history of coming back. I too have this looming over me also. But it sounds like u are doing well in taking control of your situation and being more level headed. How have your interactions gone in the past few weeks? Is he still making excuses to talk to u? Are your interactions pleasant or make u edgy?

If u could take a moment to read my post about contact with my ex and give me your comments that would be great. If it’s too hard to find, let me know and I’ll post it again. A lot of new people and comments. I’m Finding it hard to keep up myself.

Thanks

Hi pAlmtree, it was in this thread. But it was a week ago and there has been a lot of msg since. I’ll just repost it for u. Will probably be easier.

It won’t let me copy and paste it again. It was written in sept. 10 in column/page 46. Thanks pAlmtree, I look forward to your opinion.

It sounds like he needs to figure his stuff out. Im sorry it’s not the answer u were looking for at the time. But in the end pAlmtree I think it is best for u. Gives u strength making that decision and puts it out there for no grey area. Unfortunetly I don’t think we ever lose all hope when u love someone. But he might surprise u after a bit ….. And if so u have set the foundation for a better relationship because of it. I hope your holding up ok, I know those decisions are hard not to secound guess.

I think you are doing to exact right thing (as long as it isn’t too agonizing for YOU). Being consistently friendly and someone she can talk to without pushing will take you really far. You can probably reach out a bit more than you are to better establish consistently.

And you are totally right about this being the best thing for me; it’s easy to lose sight of that because it was so comfortable having him still text me every day. Barring him dating someone else seriously (honestly unlikely, I was the first girl he dated for more than a few weeks in years) I’m sure he’ll come around, but I’m not sure I want him to. I’m starting to think this flip flop behavior has a lot less to do with me and more to do with him– I could be perfect (ok, no I can’t but bear with me) and this could happen again

fishingthesky, your words are very wise and it really lifts me up when reading, really apprecite it! but you are right, sometimes letting go is the right thing to do, as it may be the right thing for me to do now.

to update when i last messaged, i was to have dinner with my ex on the weekend, but we never ended up going. She was occupied with helping her family, as to me i dont see an issue. Last weekend tho we were suppose to go , and she thought it was this weekend (the one that just passed) so twice? or once , whatever but we didnt end up going. I messaged her back saying, “it’s ok, maybe another time”. I dont want to keep trying as maybe i should try and let her reach out to me for a meet up? or should i try again in 2 weeks? This week tho, she seems to be texting me very short. Not her usual self. I dont know why she may be mad at me or something, but i reached out and asked her if there was anything bother her and she replied saying “no everything is good” but that was it. I think i will just give her space from here on. It’s kinda hard as i want to try to work things out but not sure if its just a coincidence or an excuse, but it doesnt bother me as i didnt have high hopes, kinda saw something like this coming. Thus concluding to why i feel like letting go. She still wears the ring i got her, and i talked to her the other week in person, and noticed in her room that the photo of us was still on her wall (was a scenery photo of us running at the beach , kinda like the ones you see in weddings lol) but i was glad to see it. I dont want to give up on her, but i feel like letting go for some reason, if that makes any sense…

Palmtree, my ex is kinda doing what your ex is doing. She wants to be friends, and she texts me but it’s hard on me, like i dont know if she just wants to have me around or whats going on. I want to try to work it out and meet up but either shes busy, or she has to cancel on me. So i feel like shes not ready, but sometimes i dont want to contact her at all as i too feel lead on.

Hey Pingpong,
Darn I am sorry to hear about this! I was hoping that you would give us good news about the date.
We are in the same situation, my ex has been seeing some for almost two months (at least I suppose she is still seeing the guy, I have no clue) after 5 years we have been together. But my ex is used to do this whenever she dumps me, she hooks up or she keeps some guy in line to get her mind off me, pretty immature but I guess the young age does matter. When women start acting weird, being cold, not responding calls and texts, they are definitely seeing someone else. We don’t know if it’s a rebound or not, it’s early to say but we can’t really do anything and let them have their experiences. I am glad you feel stronger now enough to let it go for now, I am on the same wavelength and I am thinking more positively a possible rekindle of my relationship in the future. For now I just put myself aside, I ain’t gonna date for a while either, we need time to adjust and find ourselves again as men after many years. Everything is going to be ok!