-
Posts
-
So me and my ex met up and went to see a play two days ago. First time seing each other since a month after she broke up with me after telling me she doesn’t feel the same way.
The day was just fantastic, there wasn’t any awkwardness at all. So I stopped off and bought her favourite coffee before picking her up from work and we drive into town. The car journey just consisted of laughs and fun, I can make her laugh so daily. We head straight to Nandos to get some food before the play. She paid for mine and her own meal! It was brilliant, not a moment of silence throughout the night even. I made her laugh so much at one point that she accidentally smacked her head on a railing behind her. We made a joke of it though. So we finished and head over to the play, it was awesome. She picked up a leaflet with ANOTHER play that is going on later this month. Telling me that this would be cool to go see, and kept fiddling with the leaflet, basically really hinting out the fact she wants to go see it. So ofc I said yeah we will see this 🙂 the play started, which was again really awesome all the way through. In the interval she went to the toilet, and she came back with two ice creams for us both. Vanilla, our favourite. And we just sat and talked about the play and other things during the rest of the interval. After the play finished we slowly head back to the car and I drove her home. And told me she had a really fun night and that it was really good. She really enjoyed herself. The thing is, the whole time it just felt like we were together again. If anyone would of seen us you would automatically think we were a couple. It was just so great. Such an amazing night out. I was confident, and was just myself. Am I doing things right? I am just taking this bit by bit and seing where it leads. I felt like I was having different vibes off of her but that could just be me. What do you think? I need a little help here on what to do and if I’m doing it right.
Honestly I think you’re doing perfectly so far. This would be an absolute dream-scenario for me. Keep up the good work, but don’t rush things! This sounds really, really positive.
That sounds amazing! I’m planning on contacting my ex in a few days and I’m really nervous – Im really hoping I end up having a day like that too. well done!
Amy, the best thing I could advise, and what I did, is that just go in and act like yourself and nothing more. Know and accept that you are going as friends. That way you can be your most confident and ultimately your best. Don’t even try too hard. Dont bring up the subject about what happened between you both, if he/she mentions it then just go with it but don’t blame them for anything. Just enjoy yourselves and it will be fine 🙂
The thing im most worried about is that shes just trying to be extra nice to me or feeling guilty and is just trying to be friends. I dont know. And it was very difficult for me still being in love with her. I dont know how to take it or what to expect. Have a look at my story if you like on my other posts. And thank you for your replies 🙂 share your stories if you like, maybe I could give some insight?
the no contact for me was bloody hard. i think for anyone it is the same of course. im hoping she just doesn’t want to stay friends, and in fact im not sure even when i should bring the conversation up about us two, or if she should be the one to do so?
RustyRed im sure it will 🙂 just be yourself, it works wonders. i know i hate being told to “just be myself” but honestly, just go in confident and make sure to enjoy it and nothing more. she/he will see you for a confident person straight away. and it makes no awkwardness at all.
🙂Im in no contact at the moment….Ive done it for almost 30 days! I desperately want to get back together and see him 🙁 but want to play it cool! I didnt delete him on Facebook (as his other exes have and he thought it was bad of them to…so thought best not to!) but have been getting job offers/firsts in my final year projects which I have been putting up – so am hoping he might have seen how well Im doing without him!!
The problem is with him, hes stubborn and his ego his huge – he told his sister he doesnt want to contact me because he thinks that I will think that he wants to get back together!!
Thargus, how did you first interact with your ex? was it text message? I wanted to do it this weekend but am really scared to! I feel confident in myself more now, but Im still really scared :S
well, there is no doubt he will be checking on facebook. no doubt. who wouldn’t? i do it admittedly!
and for me, it started with her contacting me out of the blue. we used to watch a show on youtube called ‘Good Mythical Morning’ and we planned for so long to send in some welsh sweets and welsh cakes for them to try. turns out someone already beat us too it so she text me telling me that someone did already. in my eyes it was the perfect thing for her to text about! we talked for about 10 minutes about that. then a week and a half she text me again out of the blue asking if id still like to go see a play we planned to go see before together, and of course i said yes that would be awesome! ( that was the play i mentioned earlier) so we discussed it for about 10 minutes again. but then.. she started texting lyrics to songs from that youtube show, we used to do it all the time. so we sent lyrics to those back and forth for about two/three days straight. then we stopped again for a few days, and then she text me asking if there are tickets still available for the show,i checked, there was and i bought two for us. she paid me back for hers as she said she would do that in the text. and when the day came, i bought her her favorite coffee from starbucks and then picked her up from work and the night began 🙂
but there’s a key point you must see in all of that. im playing it very cool. and she seemed to do so also, but she was the one who wanted to go out etc. which is what i aimed for. 🙂 just be very patient about things, DONT rush, and really be COOL. take things as they are, and DO NOT focus on what happened before, focus on the moment in time. that is the key. but i have to ask, who broke up with who in your situation
amy111?He broke things off with me 🙁 a month ago out of the bluehe thought we we’re too young to seriously commit to each other and that 3 years was getting too serious for him and he didnt want to be with the same person he was with now who he was going to marry (we’re only 21/22 so this seemed crazy! – i think it was a bit of a “the grass might be greener on the other side’ syndrome). We we’re great and he was really upset about it…but said he wasnt going to change his mind. His family said he still lvoes me and cares about me and misses me but thinks this is best for both of us in the long run 🙁 I havent heard from him since and I havent contacted him since….was planning to this sunday! which was why this post appealed to me so much – am v.nervous but think ive been playing it cool! i dropped his clothes off and his sister said he loved that I did because they still smell like me?! haha!
But yeah, I was hoping something would come up that I could mention to him like “oooh saw that film you recommended, was really good!” or something…Im just scared to initiate first contact: (
I just want my 30 days no contact to be over so I can see if she wants to be friends, and then work it from there. I still check her facebook regular I have no doubt she checks mine too. I know she checks my Instagram coz she’s liked a few of my pics recently. I’m only on day 8 of no contact tho. We haven’t talked at all for them 8 days bar when she txt me yesterday about final bills for our old flat. She did say at the end she hoped I was ok. But I think she was just being polite. Miss her like crazy, she’s always on my mind.
rusty red – no contact does get easier 🙂 Im on day 28 and its helped me a lot, i miss my ex ridiculous amounts as well, but use this time to make yourself a more attractive and better person, for both your sake and hers 🙂 show her what shes missing!
sorry i took so long to reply! my internet went down for a while 🙁
there is no doubt in my mind he misses you, and it sounds like a case of, wanting to see what else is out there. if that makes sense. and age 21/22 is not too young.. no age is too young. im 24 and my ex is 24. i met her through my cousin who is also my best friend. his recent fiance after 6 years are the same age too. hes 24 and she is 21. and my ex is her sister. leave it for the 30 days. trust me, you will feel like you’ve reached a milestone and exceeded a step in the process. and you will feel as though because you have done 30 days, you can do anything. she gave me my jacket back that she used to love to wear when she wasnt well etc. it smelt of her and it was really nice.. its weird to say but i cant throw that jacket away or anything now. she loves it.
but really because he broke things off with you, HE should be the one to really contact you first in most cases. but it might be nice to just break the ice and just say something like that. dont just text “hey” or “how are you” or “how have you been?” he will only reply with the same thing and the convo will just end. do as you said on day 30. and you will probably talk for about 15-20 mins maybe more
but dont push the convo towards anything, just let it happen. be cool. thats the key here being COOL. when you feel like the convo could end just let it end. and try if you can to make it so that the next time HE should text you first.by that i mean say something like, “right gotta go see this movie now.. chat soon” or something else that will intrigue him. so he has something to ask you later on 🙂
and just to clarify something, i MADLY miss my ex.. a lot. im still in love with her. and to be honest, i dont think those feelings will ever go away. she was my soulmate and is my best friend. so its not just you who feels that way. but you must not let your ex know that. if you act cool, he will think more as to why you seem okay about it all. and then think about you. all he will do is think about you and why you are so “fine” about all this. trust me. this is how it works. 🙂 and dont be afraid to keep asking stuff, its nice to help. i feel in the same boat as well and i wish she would just come running back to me realizing how much of a mistake she has made. but she wont feel like that if i go bringing things up from before asking her why etc and declaring my love again. this will just put her defenses up and it is exactly the same in your situation. YOU will be fine 🙂 patience.
ahhh thank you so much! its so nice talking to someone going through the same thing! Thats what I thought – it seems very much a case of “the grass might be greener on the other side”. What made me feel better about that is that the week before we we’re having a chat and I came out with “so, what have I ever done to annoy you? :P” and he thought about it and was like “actually nothing! you’ve never done anything wrong or anything, pretty perfect!”…so thats one good thing I guess. Am very pleased I didnt beg and plead to get back with him once he had left my house after the break up either 🙂
Yes, thats apparently what he did – his sister said she gave it back to him and he said “aww i love the smell of this it smells like her and her perfume” – that made me a bit happier 🙂
Yeah, I think I will. I’m so scared!I’m going to act really “cool” and “casual” 😛 He’s at a big party this whole weekend which has made me really nervous 🙁 Its the first party hes been to without me since the break up, and I know theres going to be loads of girls and laods of alcohol! makes me feel a bit sick 🙁 i miss him so much too 🙁
It sucks missing someone this much hey! 🙁 Just wondering, has she contacted you since your theatre trip? 🙂
sorry i took so long to reply. she has text me, not much.. but she has at least. im not gonna lie, i miss her dearly. she is still my dearest. she put a photo up on facebook of her taking the dog for her Saturday walk not long ago today, i saw it and my stomach went into my chest..
she text me saying that shes bought her sister and her fiance another present for their birthdays. and i just let her know that iv’e bought the tickets ready for the next show this month. i really dont know how she feels about me.. surely all her feelings cant have just gone away like that? eventually i do want to talk to her about us.. but when is another matter.. i dont want to leave it too late.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.