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Posts
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hey @amy do you think NC still work if I messed it up once? (I asked if he still love me after 1.5 months NC and he just be silent) I’m doing NC again. How long do you think I should take it? You seem like an expert in NC 😛
@Thargus you NEED to ignore her, to NOT be with her. Trust me she will come back running but you need to be consistent, NO dates, nothing. You are way to busy and (supposedly) dating someone else (don’t lie just let her wonder and she will start putting in effort). You are letting her use you
Thargus if I were you I wouldn’t ask her why she has been so quiet. She might not be sure how she feels about you right now.She might be thinking of you as just a guy friend who doesn’t mind being there for her when she needs something. Keep taking things slow with her.
Thargus please don’t go to boxing with her or anything like that! You’re letting her have her cake and eat it again. Make her wonder what you are up to! But I agree with kaila, I think it’s incredibly selfish of her to ask
You To spend time with her when she knows you still have feelings for her. When you don’t like her amumore-then you can be friends. But you need
To make YOUR own plans that don’t involve her, dont drop anything off for her (that’s really taking the piss from her side!) and avoid her. I think it’s the only way she’s going to realise you’re not a little puppy that she can call on when she needs company/attention/to feel loved and is not getting it from someone else.If you watch an episode
Of how I met you’re mother called “on the hook”, this kind of reminds me of that situation! Definitely look it up!Hensey-of course! Go straight back to it. Wait at least 2/3 months I would say. HOWEVER if soeetbing happens that you find out about ie. He gets a new job, a relative passes away etc (only big things) text him a brief, friendly text saying “congrats on the job! Hope your well :)”
Or something like that. But only after 2 months I would say. Don’t ask how he is, what he’s up to etc. literLly, make it a statement. Then he has to make the effort to ask, and will wonder why you haven’t 🙂Amy! Gah! Update us on how you are doing! Also, will you please please please read my updates? It’s like 12:15 in the morning my time and I cannot sleep because I’m freaking out so much right now. I know it’s irrational, but still.
@amy111 i will thanks!! btw how’s your story going??
Yeah everything is good thanks! My friends are a bit ooer about us being back together though but that’s normal.
It’s annoying me a bit though-he said to me how badly he wants to go on holiday, but is arranging to go on holiday with other people before arranging it with me if that makes sense? So not sure why that’s happening…but he’s invited me to stay at his this weekend, and we’ve been really good so far and am really happy! 🙂1stanza course I will! I’m just about to go gym and then will read it 🙂
@amy111 i just watched this episode. its kind of.. weird actually as to how it does resemble things.
maybe not as extreme haha, but yeah. i can see.
actually its kind of an eyeopener.
but this is incredibly hard. i suppose my situation is just not making it any easier at all with the friends etc..
i mean if this was any other person, then yeah it would be easier to just move on. but.. damnit.i wonder that if then she will be wondering why she is not getting the attention from me she wants..?
ive made no contact with her since tuesday. that day with the boxing.
So I finished nc.. talked to her. She agreed to have coffee soon. The texts were ok. But she just left ir at.. ok we will talk soon to see when we get together. Still waiting for her reply. Idk how long it will take. But since we live in the same gated community I have to pass by her house to get to mine… and Her car was not there and it was 530 am.. fml. There is a bit more to the story. But she just told me before we agreed to the coffee that she though. Didn’t want to be her friend or anything so she was confused. And that’s when I replied. Np, it’s cool we will talk about soon. Something like that. And she said ok. I’m a bit hurt.. she never stays out so late. Not even when she was with me. I’m thinking the worse . Fml
Yes Thargus, she will be mind f*** trust me. But just hang in there man. Your ex is the type thay actually contacts you. You are gonna make her feel in a way insecure. If she contacts you. Let us know. We are here to help. For now, stay strong. Don’t give her what she wants.
Thing is, I dont even think shes intentionally doing it to take advantage, its more of a comfort zone thing if that makes sense?
I think anyone with the right mind would know to keep some distance and not to be too friendly to help and ex partner heal better. So no, I think she is taking advantage. She doesn’t want to be back, or to be stuck in a relationship right now, but also she hasn’t found someone else either so she just does this. You really MUST distance yourself and NOT take any of her invites. You MUST.
She hasn’t contacted me since last Tuesday, she started her new job yesterday too. Normally I would ask her how it is going, but because of this NC its more difficult Than one would imagine! Haha
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