No Contact Annoymous – Share your struggles with keeping NC

@cindyyw

ask away, 🙂

i use kik and my id is martin92ex if you want you can contact me through that

So… I’m like, day 5 or 6 in to the no contact rule. Told her not to contact me unless it’s important to talk about our relationship or something like that otherwise I need space. Unfriended her on snapchat and Facebook. We went through an abortion after she broke up with me. I was there for her. She was texting me friendly shit and joking around but I told her that stuff(she broke up with me btw) anyways. I’m not telling this story well lol. I ended up going out last night with my friends. I haven’t drank since we broke up and I told her the I had quit. One of her friends ended up being at the bar. He’s not a friend of mine though. Talked to him a little. Asked how we were doing. Told him we broke up. Acted like it didn’t matter. I didn’t tell him about sobriety and they were giving me water at the bar in large glasses, not plastic cups. May be overthinking things but… I haven’t been looking at her Facebook or anything but I got the inkling to for some reason and it turned out she blocked me! And I don’t understand why… I haven’t been bad to her. I don’t know what it means. I don’t know why she did that to me either. I don’t know if this means that there is no hope anymore. Also I don’t know how long I am supposed to do this no contact thing because of that abortion. We were broken up for about 3-4 weeks before I did the no contact thing. She also broke up with me 3 days after I paid for our vacation together. I don’t know what to do.. I’m so hurt. I don’t get why she gets to block me. Why?? Ugh. Having a hard time ever since that.

@Jenn_z

I’m starting the NC period now, and to be honest, for the past few days or so, I haven’t managed to not do what you say. It was difficult; I was so desperate I looked for it online, as you can see.

But, after reading the article, I feel a lot calmer. Why? Well… It made me realize parts of the things I did wrong; everything that was said in the article makes… Sense to me. Now, I’m feeling completely fine, and I’m ready to start changing my life. Again, why?

Again, well… It’s because I know her. I know how she’s like, and everything! I know just how good it CAN be, and I’ll be ready to make it a permanent thing which is the MAIN source of motivation.

HOWEVER!

I also realize that it’s quite possible that I’ll come to the conclusion that it might be better without her. Right now, no matter what you try to tell me, I’ll tell you that there’s no way it’ll be better without her… But I also thought the same thing about our relationship – that we’d never part, yet, it happened. You need to have the open mind and realization that what you think might change.

Part of the NC rule is to see what your mind makes of it, and if it truly is right to get back together. Either way, no matter what happens, you’re breaking the shackles that tie you down right now, so you win either way; you’re reclaiming back your freedom.

I hope this helps.

Like I said earlier in my post… I’m starting the NC period today. I’m really hoping to be able to talk to you guys in case something goes wrong… With my mentality, because even though I might look okay now, I’m pretty sure it’s VERY subjective to change.

I’ll be here for you guys, too… And maybe even say something every day.

Day 1.

Im on day 1 (take 2 – i did 5 days last time)

Im feeling horrible like i don’t know how i can do it. I feel like it’s pretty useless honestly because he’s going to forget about me, be glad i’m not contacting him etc.

i don’t know, i just don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel yet

Hi everyone, I just got back from the start of NC because i called him on wednesday (after I did NC for almost 10 ten after we broke up). I do that because there is serious problem that I need to discuss with him but he just wanted to be called not meeting, so I called him but his reaction is so cold and it was like He didnt care about the issue. So I just ended the call and got nothing. The hardest part for me is that I just knew that he closed with this girl that after he blocked my instagram and post several picture with this girl with a couple pose. Because I really curious, I asked his coworker that maybe told him and after that he deleted all the picture and when I texted him to ask talk about another issue, he told me that he got nothing with that girl and he dont have any heart bussiness with anyone, I dont even ask about it.
When I called him, he said he would go to Solo to meet someone and its related with his job. So I assumed that he went with the other coworker but when I went to mall, I met with two guys who usually go with him when its about job. So I really curious about with who he went to solo. So I checked his instagram today and got nothing but when I checked this girl instagram, there is one post yesterday that stated she was in solo, so I assumed that he went to solo with this girl.
I really confused right now, he told me that he want to focus on his life, he even said that he dont want to think about his family, he just want to focus on himself, so why he did that?why he became close with this girl?even his coworker said that recently he is with her. I really confused and my head going to blow up now.

This string is such a good idea. I’m on day 0, second round. Broke it after 12 days and I feel like I’m back at square 1. I felt so great and focused on myself for once and not on him and his needs. Now I’m stuck in this loop of obsession. He had a date. She spent the night.. I’m heartbroken all over again. I met with him tonight and he is irritated with my pain. I blew it and pleaded and told him I loved him. Asked him to tell me we were done for good, but he says he can’t. He doesn’t know what the future will hold. So tomorrow I’m back to NC day 1. I’m also joining a gym and am going to go get eyelash extensions! I’m going to work on me! I have to focus on moving forward and making my life better… without him.

I am on day 1 of NC (sort of).
We broke up about a month ago and I did all the things I shouldn’t do – wish I had found this article sooner!
Despite my pleading, it hasn’t been a nasty break up at all and I know he still has some feelings for me. He is keen to stay friends and when I last messaged him I said I would need help doing that, he suggested as a first step we go to the cinema a week on Thur.
Having now read this article I am certain this would be a bad idea and I have decided to give this NC a try (as much for me as for trying to win him back). I hope I can do it and not give in and meet him in a couple of weeks!
I have a slight bump to overcome – he is coming to check on my cat as I am away next week (he says that’s what friends do) so I will have to have a very minimal bit of contact with him about that. Plus I will have to tell him I don’t want to meet him for the cinema. Below is the message I was going to send when I get back next week. Then I keep counting the days. Assuming that is all I send I am going to count today as day 1 and go from there.
Any thoughts on the message below – please do let me know and wish me luck!

Thank you very much for checking in on xxxx(my cat), hope he wasn’t too demanding of your attention! It was def better for him to not to have had to travel over to mum’s and back.
I think I am going to take a rain-check for the cinema on Thur. I’m going to have a night out with friends to watch the football instead. If I’m honest, I think that will be better for me at the moment. Plus you can watch the Liverpool game and not sit in the cinema wondering about the score.
I am serious about wanting you in my life in some way and I have a few nights coming up where I have a babysitter available, so let’s leave it for a bit and we can see how we go.
Thanks again for checking in on (my cat) this week and hope YYYY(his kids) and YYYY aren’t too grumpy about going back to school. xxxx

FS1, I know exactly how you feel because I feel same way (NC day 4). And I’m on a good way to be happy again, so here’s my advice:
1. I don’t no how long you were together, but not since forever, right? Do you have any old hobbies that you stop doing at some point? Before you were with him? Maybe try to get back to it.
If you don’t have any hobbies or passions to get back to, then maybe try to hang out with old friends, refresh contacts that you were neglecting because of this relationship. This things will remind you, that there was a life without him. And that still is! And that this life is also great and worth to come back to it.
2. Texting him right know will only scare him. You don’t want him to see you needy and (sorry for unpleasant word) pathetic. If you feel that you’re not strong enough to resist, then tell somebody (you close friend or member of family) and I’m sure that person will stop you. You have to be strong, but this will pay back, I promise.
3. If you want him (or anyone) to love you, YOU need love yourself in the first place. Start jogging or do some other exercises, dress well, maybe get a new haircut. Bilding confidence is very important. You need to remember that you are a great person. With or without him.
4. Meet someone new. I not necessarily reccomend you to go on any date, but to meet new people to get stimulus. It can be online chat with very random person.

I know it’s been month since you wrote request for advice, but I hope that I will help someone anyway. I wish you good luck! 🙂