No Contact Annoymous – Share your struggles with keeping NC

Hello everyone!
What if before the NC you told him that you were giving him space.. Will he still miss me during the NC even though he’s expecting no contact?

Day 35 NC. He kept canceling plans, wouldn’t text for a week, would never see me. So, I went dark. No explanation. Just stopped responding. I’ve had it and I’m done. But, I need to vent, so here is the email I will never send (kinda embarrassing but totally honest):

I loved what we could have been, not what we were. The truth is that you never wanted to love/bond with me, and I’m fine with that. I was never a priority to you and you never seemed genuinely interested in me as a person. Life is too short to wait around for someone who doesn’t recognize my ninja level of awesome. I’m keenly aware of how successful, sophisticated, funny, AND sexy I am. (Real talk ???). Unfortunately, frustration and disappointment became my prevailing emotions because you never showed up for the relationship, or even tried to make me happy (or even see me for that matter. You’d think I would have wised up sooner. Remember that cartoon? His fault. Lol). You were 100% emotionally unavailable to me. I put up with way more than I should have, and now I’m moving on. It’s the best thing for us both anyway, given our situations – esp yours. I know why you’re reaching out, but I’m definitely not your go-to phone sex girl. Therein lies the crux of the problem: I wanted your time, attention and love. You just wanted phone sex. Incompatible goals. (Hit up CL? ?). I thought you MIGHT be sincere this time (You love me? Hmm, yeah I sorta bought it.), but once again your actions belied your words. People don’t really change. I can’t make you love me any more than you can make me believe that you do. But, it’s all water under the bridge now. I don’t regret any of it, though. It felt amazingly real for a minute. I’ll miss that. And you. I loved you madly, and would have gone the distance with you. Just remember that you left me long before I stopped speaking to you. And you can’t say I didn’t fight for us, because I did. At the end of the day, we have quite a memory and story to tell, huh? Just leave out my name and pics, please. ?Lol. (I really wish you’d delete them, but I’m sure you won’t. It offends me that you show your Bros). Best wishes and farewell. I hope you have a beautiful, successful and fulfilling life. I mean that, love. Xoxo?✌️

Jupiter, try to focus on something else. My ex shared this quotes once: How can I miss you if you won’t go away?
I know it’s a contradiction to the song ‘If You Leave Me Now’, but if you love him, give him space to heal.

I’m on my 3rd week of NC. Thinking of restarting because I broke the ground rules(being the one who text him first). I survived the first two weeks, but then it’s not totally because I miss him, but we are emotionally connected. I know he’s not feeling well and sad for some reasons. He replied politely, but I know we still need space from each other.

If you truly love him, learn to improve yourself, be confident and have a lot of patience. All the best.

Im on day 3 and its been very hard because my wife doesn’t want me at the hospital with her..so I hang outside and say a prayer for her and leave.

I see her new boyfriend…come to visit….Guys a fat lard and bald guy….so Im guessing it was an upgrade.

I’m hanging on….just sad and broken.

omg @Ms-Marple your post made me cry. we broke up 12/3 and were nc until yesterday morning when i replied to an email he sent me on the 8th day of nc. (today would have been nc day 11) i replied because his email made it seem he wanted to get back together, but wasnt sure the problems we have could be resolved, and so he wasnt saying it directly. i felt good after replying back, kept my response short and positive, but since then i have been a hot mess. i havent heard back since i replied, except for the automated email saying he was out of the country without access to email, and he has also deactivated his facebook. i did the same today, it reminds me too much of him.
anyway, about your post, i have the same wave of panic with the sadness and fear when i think of my ex, and your post really struck a chord with me. i have been trying to avoid how i feel for so long, that now when im alone and forced to experience them, i often dont know how or i question if im proceeding in the right way. i was doing ok focusing on myself until his email came to me, i think because i was still in shock, expecting to talk to him again at some point, foolishly. since then im a complete mess i think of him all day long and miss him constantly, it takes everything out of me not to reach out to him, but i try to find the power within to stop me, telling myself nothing good will come from it, i wont feel better after having reached out, and it wont change anything, we are broken up, as much and as painful as that is to accept.
I also took a happiness course where for a few hours we had to sit in silence, nothing compared to your course, but similar, it forced me to feel what i was feeling and it was so long ago that since i took it, ive gotten lost in the business of daily life to remember that life is always worse if you don’t ever stop to feel your emotions and release them. i’m realizing how important it is to listen to myself instead of always trying to bend for him, and there were a lot of shitty things he did to me, but i loved him still. i know, no one knows the future, but i go back and forth between wanting him back and thinking i may be better off alone, and today was especially hard for me, because i finally faced the thought that we may never have another interaction, i may never see his face or hear his voice or admire him again in this lifetime and the permanence of that just hit me like a ton of bricks. i couldnt keep it together at that point, the tears just wouldnt stop. it is so hard to be at this emotional place, neither here nor there, neither satisfied in a relationship, nor completely moved on and ready for the next chapter of the future.

and so, todays emotion is definately sadness, and i hope i have been able to follow the rules above, lol.

good luck to everyone.

I myself have recently gone through a heartbreaking breakup where my fionce broke up with me the day after Valentine’s day. She did it in a letter & stated she would be going out of town over the weekend & when she got back to have myself& my belongings out of our apartment. I completely fell apart. We had been together for just under a yr & living together for 5 months. I’m 44 & she is 35. Just 6 weeks earlier she had accepted my marriage proposal & now she was leaving me for what she said was her ex husband because of the kids but I found out that wasn’t true. I left the apartment & 2 days later went by in the evening to try to talk with her & found her with another man. I asked her how she could do that with no response. We both cried & I left & started no contact 4 days later. It went on for 5 days & she called me. I made the mistake of answering & speaking with her for an hr or so. It was a good conversation & we agreed we would try to start a different kind of friendship. I saw her 4 days later when I had to meet with the neighbor & I was leaving. She called me over to talk on the patio. We spoke very kindly to each other just about life. She sent me a text after I left saying how great it was to see me which I replied the same & we texted for a few days after & had another phone conversation a few days later before I was due to have a surgery & she asked that I call her to let her know how things went. Well it ended there. I tried contacting her for a few days with no response & decided to text her letting her know I was goingto go by the apartment to see if she was ok to which her car wasn’t home however there was a guy outside the apartment so I didn’t stop at the apartment but stopped around the corner at another friends & the police started showing up & questioning the guy in front of her apt. I didn’t go near there & left shortly after but have since found out that she has announced that she is in a relationship with another guy via Facebook which she has me blocked on. I found out via a friend. I’m so frustrated. I’m now back in no contact for 6 days. I don’t know what to think. Sorry for such a long comment.