No Contact Annoymous – Share your struggles with keeping NC

Daniel, a.z.,

Its been a while that I haven’t read posts. I just stick to a few ones. Anyway, they will also become old guys! LOL

a.z., Loraina,

Her best friend is really a nice girl. Maybe she is not aware of the mind games that my ex plays. Previously, she posted an album about her pets and my ex girlfriend was in it patting the pets. ha ha ha… It been too fishy lately. Before we broke up, once she posted a picture on my ex’s wall saying, “Keep calm and love”. The next time I met my ex she criticized me on talking about our relationship problems to her friends.I told her that I did not talk about it to anyone. In fact, except two of them, I never talked about my problems to my own friends.

Daniel,

I am doing great! Believe me! Sometimes her memories haunt me, but its depth is nothing compared to early days. For that trip, I had to sit 5-6 hours beside the window and look at the road. I started thinking about the past. BTW, I haven’t heard anything from RAED. Maybe I should check the threads! LOL How are you doing by the way? Be ready to hear that Edward is also moving on! ha ha ha… Welcome back! 😀

a.z., Loraina,

I posted that comment by mistake here. However, it that was our usual conversation, lately. Eventually she would conclude that I force her doing things and I am really mean! I would naturally start apologizing to her. I think it was a part of her mind games so that I would submit to apologize to her for nothing really big.I am moving on because I can’t imagine living with someone like her for ever. So why should I waste her time? Maybe she can find someone who would understand her words.

Loraina,

I can understand him. Some guys are afraid for serious life. Marrying someone (is assumed to be) a step for a boy to become a man. Having a child will make this step a bit higher. Not everyone boy will take that challenge. Yet, maybe he is really a nice guy (I don’t conclude on it). I simply say that even though he cares about you and you really don’t expect commitment from him but he expects that commitment in himself and his expectations from himself makes him uncomfortable in that relationship. My suggestion is to move on. He has a personal problem which requires at least a couple of years to dealt with. If he contacts you and tell you that he is ready for the commitment, then he is okay.

However, we the community of “old guys” on this site welcome you to express your feelings/thoughts.

Everyone,

Best of luck!

Dara,
It feels great when you say you can’t imagine living with someone like her forever.it shows that you are really doing great and i’m really happy about it.
btw,i kinda think edward will get her back 😀

Lorina,
I agree with what dara said about your ex.but i’m not suggesting you to move on right now.i mean give it some time and during this time focus on your life and do something that makes you happy,get yourself busy and focus on your life.i believe he loves you and i do believe that this is a serious issue and he really needs to think about it deeply.nothing is impossible so be patient,follow your plan and give him some time to think about it.
Wish you all the best

Thanks for the replies guys. I know that with a reason like being afraid of kids that I don’t have much chance of getting him to come back unless he calms himself down and changes his mind(which I don’t think will happen any time soon). I wouldn’t want to force it anyway, it’s just hard to deal with when I have the I care so deeply parts sounding off against the but I can’t be with you. I’m moving forward with my life and trying not to pay attention to what he does in his. I haven’t unfriended him from anything but his posts are blocked so that I don’t have to look if I want to scroll through updates. I’m hoping that the worthless feeling from having someone run instead of trying starts to fade soon… I know he wants to stay in contact but I can’t right now, not if we slip back into painfully cute behaviors around each other.

Guys “old group” I need help!

I’m only 3 days away from ending NC. And the worse thing happened! I ran into her. We go to the same gym. She always goes around 5 leaves at 6:30 I get there 6:45 to avoid her. Always works. This time I got there and saw she was there didn’t bother me. But then I notice she was there with someone else. It was the guy she was talking to right before we broke up. Actually he was the reason why I stopped trying to work things out. So I saw her with him. I don’t think they workout together very often. She stayed past 7 and she never does that. They finally left. I left about 20m later. Walking to the car I see her talking to him in the parking lot. I dated her so I know her behavior. From my knowledge they must be talking. She was talking to him like a friend witch is means he’s either a friend or they are talking. They weren’t too touchy either. I saw him try to hug her twice. She never hugged him back. She just took the hug as they were walking.
When they left it didn’t seem like much of a good bye. From my view. I was a bit far away but at least that’s what I feel like I saw.
I think they are talking becuase she was acting like that with me when we first started talking. She never post pictures of him either. Same thing with us when we first started talking. But at least in our situation we work together so no one could know we were talking. With him I don’t know maybe she has posted pictures of him becuase my friends and family as friends with her on fb and IG
To be honest I did hurt me a little but I bounced back. I actually feel like if I play the cards right I can win her. Here’s why. She told me when we were together that she did think he was cute. He just had a good personality. (They have little bit of history) I saw him and he’s not a good looking guy! (Point for me) he also isn’t in the best fit. I myself and always active. Not buff but I’m a slender fit guy. She would also always tell me she though I was cute. Liked my height and she would also tell me she was scared she’d never find a guy like me. Kinda dumb becuase she gave up on us. But…
I know I can win her but I just need to play the right cards. I need advice on what to do! NC is almost over. Please help.
I’m and feeling good and confident btw.

My plan after NC was to send her the letter. Then “run into her at the gym” have a nice friendly conversation and text her after that. Eventually ask her if she’d like to go out sometime as friends..and then so on and so on

I feel like this changes things since I was planning on contacting her this week. Please help

Thanks AZ,

I’ll do that. Should I mention any of this in the letter? In the letter, there’s a small part were I apologize for awkwardness the couple times we ran into each other..we just said hi..but I apologize for it and tell her that it was for the best though…I feel like this is now wierd becuase of who I saw her with today and I know she saw me too

No you don’t need to mention anything about that in the letter.and don’t apologize too much.you don’t need to apologize for saying hi to her.she broke up with you.what else could she expect from you?let the apology be for a good reason.like something really bad you did during the relationship that you know hurt her too much and was one of the break up reasons.
When was the last time you saw her?