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Do whatever you feel will be the best in the Long run. Not in the short term. But if you think you should cancel and if your friend thinks that then let her know in time. It will make her wonder a bit.
A bit of space is good for you both. A few weeks to sort yourself out and let her really miss you. It will make you both stronger. You can explain all this to her in the future.
I know that you are struggling. We all do. But it gets easier. Just be cool. Don’t ask questions. Don’t give much away. In a few weeks you will be back together and better than before.
Tell me, do you feel deep down that you will get back together? Strange question I know, but those gut Feelings are important. They tell you a lot. If you really believe that you will be back together then let it flow. All will be fine.
Keeping your mind occupied is difficult. I know. So, try to control your thoughts and Feelings a bit better. We can control them. Don’t Panic at all. She will be running back after you soon. Women are a strange breed. We will never understand them. So listen to your female friends. They can tell you more in a Minute than we will learn in a lifetime. Give her the space that she wants now to clear her head out a bit.
I don’t know what I should do honestly, I’m getting nervous as I have to work today, but the time is nearly upon us. I feel like if she says no to coming it’s worse than if I say no. Maybe I can see what she says, and if she says no just say I felt the same. I also feel like it’s already been enough time even though she said it’s not to get back together if we meet. I feel like meeting her could go either way, seeing the cats and me being cool could help bring her back round, or it could just confirm her choice to not be with me even if we don’t talk about things. I also wonder how steady she’d be able to keep things if you know what I mean.
My female friends have been right, but they’ve been less than positive honestly.
I do so desperately want us to be together, and I’d like to believe that in time she will come back to me. There’s a big part too that just worries that she’ll move on whether she wants to or not as she is so caught up in her work. It’s like crazy full time for her.
My thoughts are just all over the place.
She visited our friends this weekend, and sent a text to my friend after saying she only realised how sad she was once she was driving home alone, and she had had a really good time with them and it had taken her mind off of things. I worry that her mind will be taken off things too much and I’ll lose her.
He said in reply to keep an open mind when we meet, and said that she shouldn’t keep me waiting. I think that was around the time I got the text that said we aren’t getting back together. He told her at the weekend that I miss her and that I’m trying to fix things. Part of me thinks none of that helped in reality.
She told you that if you met then it wouldn’t be to get back together. So, you knew that much already. So, right now, as it stands, it is over. Sorry.
But, you still talk, she wanted to meet, for whatever reason. Her friends say that she is still hurt and upset.
She wants you back. She just couldn’t see any other Option for herself but to end it. So you have a great opportunity to Change yourself now and win her back.It won’t be easy but you can do it
Well, I did it. I just said “I’m ok thanks, hope you’re ok too. I’m really sorry, but I can’t do this weekend. Something has come up. I hope you understand xxx”
I’m just so worried now that this was a missed opportunity. Like I know she said it wasn’t to get back together, but was it not to break up too? We’re still together on Facebook…..
Did I just give away another missed opportunity?
It’s done now. Look. You have to do some work on yourself anyway. It gives you a bit of time to sort some things out. Then you can blow her away.
Everybody on this site talks about Facebook as if it is God. If she is still with you there though then that’s probably good for you.
Chill out now and enjoy the weekend.Got a text back. “I hope everything is ok. Do you not want to see me now? Xxx”
Text back or not text back?
Thanks Patrick, by the way. The worrying about you comment is surely a call for attention, showing she still cares and what not. That must be a massive step. Your curve ball sounded like a good move. I think you’re playing the right cards by the sounds of things, for your sake. At these points in time I guess it’s important to remember that it probably wasn’t easy for you either at the end of your relationship. The staying friends part will be some sort of obstacle to overcome, if it was you who said it. I suppose you need to find a subtle way of showing that’s not how you want it to be, in time?
I don’t know her obviously, but I wouldn’t say she’s annoyed, rather, curious. How old are you and her, might I enquire?
I’m an immature 32 & she is a mature 26. I’m a civil engineer and she is a medicine student. I’m sort of thinking like the rest of you. That she still has feelings. Well she must do if she writes that kind of stuff. Being friends is the hard message to get. When I don’t want that. But I was thinking, why the hell would she push so hard to meet up? Maybe she doesn’t want just friends either. But how else would she write that? I don’t know if the rebound guy is still there. I hope not for mine and his sake. His because she is still thinking of me.
Anyway, what ages are you 2? Are you in the uk? Random question but I just think that from your writing.
Did you reply to her? You have to stick by your word now. That’s good that she is so eager. See the way things change now Charlie. She is beginning to run a bit to you. Brush her off with a sorry not this weekend but soon. I’ll let you know. Or something. You know her. And Go and do something now. She can’t find out that you sat about doing nothing.
By the way. Are you just putting those xxx in? Or are you both sending those still? Because if you are sending each other that then I don’t think you are split up at all
I don’t think he’s there man. You know what type of person she is, and if you were with her for that long she probably isn’t the sort to be ‘two-timing’ in any shape or form. I think she knows she messed things up too. I can understand why the rebound happened, being together for so long so young, you maybe feel like you missed out. I would wager it’s nothing but regret now though. I suppose compare it to the contact she made with you when you knew he was about, which I would guess wasn’t much. I think you’re right about how hard she’s pushing, she’s probably just as scared to say something as you are. Sounds basic, but be the ‘alpha’ male she saw you as at the start! I’m sure she respects you for your recent decisions. You don’t sound like an immature 32 to me.
The timescale you’ve been apart for compared to your time together isn’t all that long either. Perhaps a basic assumption, but they say it takes half as long as you were together to get over a relationship.
I’m 23 and she’s 23. Got together at 19. We are in the UK yes. This is all particularly hard for me, as she was my first everything, in every sense. I still remember she said to my friend that she was more in love with me than her first ever boyfriend, right at the start, before she said it to me. We’ve done so much too, good and bad, we were even pregnant (harder for her obviously, but it was so hard for both of us) at one point.
No we’re still sending those ‘Xxx’ to each other, but I know there’s a cultural difference in the UK. When we were together and it was good, it was more like ‘Xxxxxxxxx’ aha! Ridiculous.
I haven’t replied yet. I don’t think I will just now. Honestly part of me is kind of hurt that she would be so ruthless and then just flip it on it’s head like that, so I need to think about it for some time first I think. Just not going to read too much into it for now.
If I were to reply, I’m half tempted to gamble on going with “It’s not like that. I just need to respect your decision. Xxx” and go no contact.
Pretty risky though. Oh and believe me I kinda despise Facebook too. It’s only now that I value that element of it.
That’s a strong last paragraph. Bet you didn’t see yourself writing that a few days ago. Some change. This site helps.
Be the alpha male!I suppose for the first time in years I am being the alpha male. I was immature though. A disgrace if I’m honest. I think I wrote about that to you. I’ll check back.
You’re doing good. She loves you. It’s hard for you to really believe that because you are in the situation. But for me looking in it’s crystal clear. I think that you’ve done really well in a few days. You’ve hardened up. Break ups teach us all a quick hard lesson on life. As my sister said to me; “how you deal with this will determine your path for the rest of your life”.
You will get her. And you text her whenever the hell you feel like you want to.
23. Those were good days. Beginning to finally feel free.
I don’t know if that message is genius or really dodgy. It would really make her think.
She did break up but still wants to meet and so on.Actually she hasn’t a clue what she is doing. No more than you do. I’ve realised that from reading the stories on here and even my own ex.
They don’t know what they are doing at all. Not a clue.That message would be very unlike you. Which would really make her so and think. Have you thought some more. Are you going to send it
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