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Posts
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Send it but take othea few lines.
remove; You keep telling me all these weird things. You’ve changed one day, then not enough the next.
And take out the I don’t know who/what bit. Leave just what.
Don’t sound accusatory.
As I said, that friend is after her. That may explain a lot of your problems and her holding back. He is filling her with crap.
But you can’t do anything.Just know that. But he’ll get caught out in the end. They always do.
“Love many, Trust few, and always paddle your own canoe
I’ll read through your posts in the next few days and reply and advise
Charlie. You must be getting fed up. Be ready to walk away and mean it
Hi Patrick,
I still haven’t sent that text. I don’t know why. It’s almost funny, in a tragic kind of way. I don’t know if I’m already getting fucked over by her, I guess she would tell me. Then again I guess she wouldn’t considering the circumstance. I guess I hope that me asking about my friend and her didn’t drive her to realise that’s what it is. She always white lied when she had the opportunity, like when I asked her if she spoke to him about us, she said a bit. Of course the truth was loads.
Funny that through of all of this I had a feeling in my gut about that didn’t I. When I spoke to my counsellor I said that I had become paranoid because my gut had always turned out to be right, so I’d started to believe everything I imagined. Not sure what to think now.
Do you think she’d be talking to him about me all the time if something was going on? Honest opinion please.
Makes me wonder how much it is worth it honestly. She’s leaving for Gambia for 2 1/2 months mid June anyway.
I just wonder if I’m denying the reality of my situation. I don’t know.
By the way, you never answered my question about if your relationship had actually progressed anywhere (before your argument)?
I wrote a text to her that said ‘Maybe you’re right, this obviously isn’t happening right now. We both need to move on. Good luck in Gambia, you’ll be brilliant. I wish you all my love, take care.’ before writing my last one.
Or maybe just a text that says ‘I love you. But you know what, fuck you.’
She said to me on the phone that she would speak to me next week about getting stuff back. I wonder if it’s really done now, like should I just stop. We don’t have anything to swap back.
I mean I wouldn’t have thought she’d be doing that, and I don’t want my mind to get out of hand.
Just kind of echoes of when she first kissed someone else while we were together. He was asking her to do stuff like go to the cinema alone, she had no idea that’s what he was doing.
She’s had a male best friend all her life, and I think it gives her some crazy idea that that’s not what guys are after. I mean in some rare instances sure. But being a guy I know that’s not true most of the time.
I don’t think anything is going on with him. That’s my honest opinion. But I really believe that he wants that. And perhaps she knows that.
If she kissed someone before then that’s not good of course for your jealousy. And the fact she is going away will play on her mind a lot.
I’d say just don’t be desperate at all. Ask her nothing. Tell her nothing. Be a mystery.
She has changed dramatically and I don’t know why. But she is listening to him and others too much and I bet that’s the problem.
Let her go a little bit. She is messing you about at this stage.
Same as mine. No change whatsoever. She promised that soon we would be together but not yet. She spoke of kids and going on holiday. We spoke about going to Vietnam in the summer. And now guess what. She said she doesn’t want to travel with me but with study guy. Almost planned. That hurt a lot.
Her nephew came to football with me today. He is 18. I asked about study guy. He said that it seems pretty obvious to everyone bar her that he wants her. But women are naive. He has planned these seeds of doubt in her mind. the fucker. He doesn’t even know me but she told me that he didn’t like me and keeps mentioning my drink problems and maybe they will return.
Bastard. Very similar situation. that was the fight yesterday. I still slept there. She is sick so I cooked. Calling again now because I have nowhere else to go.
But I’m planning on giving her a major wake up shock very soon.
Not sure what yet. But she will have to make a choice then.She holds the cards now and the control. But I will soon
Hey California,
I’m sorry to read through this and see what a mess that has come about.
It doesn’t matter what the problem is: drinking, drugs, depression, fits of rage… situations like this don’t help it. It makes it worse.
I’m not saying throw in the towel. I’m saying let her and this guy destroy each other, and you work on achieving and maintaining a healthy, happy life.
I’ve never been the paranoid type, but yes, when what I believed was true…it made my mind swim through all the “what if this..what if that..” PARANOIA! But in my situation.. she was actually doing much more horrible things than I even imagined.
Get control of your emotions, your life, and eventually the situation and the cards. Just make sure she is as worth it as you are. Otherwise, she’ll be on the same page and you’ll find yourself stuck in this mess again.
Thanks for the advice. I guess the thing that bothers me is that I thought rebound relationships in their conventional sense don’t happen like this, or at least I didn’t think so. I wouldn’t of thought they’d involve so much talking about the ex.
I feel like me trying to make things happen actually made it not happen. In hindsight, I know that I didn’t even need to embark on this crazy mission. Which is madness. Or maybe I did, you never know.
I wouldn’t even know what ‘the next step’ is here anymore. I’m just taking it day by day. More often than not, I don’t think I’d want to see her right now.
And knowing what I know, and not being able to say anything, or knowing I won’t be told what the truth is, is painful. We’ve exchanged some lengthy texts, but I don’t know why I bother really as I know the reply won’t ever be quite the truth.
This too shall pass, as they say. Time to start over again.
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