Sent the letter! Help!

I think go straight into NC. Giving him a letter is still giving him a heads up

So how do I act when we talk to make him think?

@Oshi I have heard from him since that text.. I know he is working, but he could have texted me before work to make an arrangement to meet..

It is just going to be the same thing all over again. Him shutting me down. Saying he wants a future with me but he has to let me go in order to experience what he got to. All of that bs.

I’ve been crying all day. It is as if we broke up all over again. I agreed with him that we needed to talk and told him this is my availability and we don’t need to prolong this. He never responded. Like I said, I know he’s working but he could have texted before hand.

Assuming that he does contact me, should I just stay in no contact? It is just going to be the same thing. If I respond, that once again gives him the power because he is “ending it”. I know he loves me, but this has gone too far. We went from being so happy and opening up to each other not even a week ago to him ignoring me and then saying “we need to talk…”.

Do you think I should stick with NC no matter what or just talk to him? At this point I think sticking with it is my best choice.. I hope you could give me some insight :/

He texted me again last night at 1 saying “you up” so I am assuming that’s when he got off. But I haven’t responded. He could have texted me before then. He’s still trying to make everything on his time. I just don’t know. I know he loves me. But his logic is “I love her but I can’t give her what she wants because this isn’t what I want right now so I have to let her go until I’m ready”. Lol. I mean I love him, and I’m letting him go because its clear that he doesn’t want me.. We also have to put in consideration how young we are. He is 19 and I’m 18..

@ellie I understand how you’re feeling. It hurts so much giving up on the one we want but sometimes we have no choice but to do that. However in your case I think he’s just playing because he knows that he already has you, so you just have to “move on” for yourself and for him to understand that. Did you text him back?

Okay so my ex just texted me again yesterday. It is about a week since the last text he sent. And he is the one to initiate both!

I was on my way meeting up with some friends, we had a campfire and I was really happy on my way there, thinking that I can finally be happy without him in my life. He suddenly texted me and I’ve waited about an hour before responding him. I told him about my plans, he didn’t respond at first, later said that he’s working so he couldn’t talk at that moment. He asked me if I have arrived and we kept texting for while after this about usual stuff (work, studies, etc). While I was hanging out with my friends I couldn’t stop thinking about it and didn’t have fun like I wanted to.

I really wanted to clean my head and have fun but since then I just feel sad and crying all the time. I’m supposed to be happy that he finally initiating but I know that he’s doing it because we talked about being friends the other day. Should I be the one to initiate next? or should I let him initiate more? because in some way it makes it so hard and it’s easier when I’m not talking with him.

@Oshi You are saying exactly what I lived, for months.. Let him initiate, but make sure you leave him hanging and not you. Do you see the point I am at now? I got to this point because I couldn’t go out with my friends without breaking down at some point or thinking about him. Whenever I leave him hanging though, I feel stronger because then it is out of his control and he had to reach out to me (until of course we made that deal about texting).

Let him initiate. I know, it takes over your life. Vent to me as much as you can because it hurts more than anything and I understand that.

So you think after everything you have read (and practically been through with me) that I have a good chance with NC?

@Oshi I do think he will contact you more, but he needs to see that you aren’t bothered by it. He knows you are. Again, power! Guys thrive off of it to feed their ego. Don’t give him that. Look how far my ex pushed me because of power? I don’t even have the urge to contact him and as of right now, I don’t care if he contacts me. Of course at some point I may care. But as of right now, I don’t. Because it is all so wrong. You are going to get to that point the more all of this is played out. But I can tell you, even if he agrees to be just friends, he wouldn’t initiate at all if he didn’t care. He still cares. That’s a definite fact.

I’ve never taken control like this. It may scare him a bit that I haven’t reached out. Especially since things are going great. I’m not playing games with him anymore. I do not have the energy to keep giving him my all when I only get 50% in return. It just isnt right. I wish the best for him, but as of right now I can’t even tell him that. For me, I am that kind of person who has to clarify my feelings to people. I have just been dealing with this way too much to the point where I don’t want to even tell him how I feel. He already knows how I feel and he chooses to ignore it. He already knows everything he has done wrong. What else can I say or do? No matter what I say or do it isn’t going to grasp his attention. This may be the only way.