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It’s been 7 days no contact and today I’m feeling quite down, I am following all the steps and doing things for me but somehow I feel he will truly move on.
Last contact was 7 days ago when I told him I apologised for my behaviour towards him and just wanted to let go of all the hurt, pain and going backwards, he never responded.
He told me he loves and cares for me but he’s not in love with me, that I will move on, he never said you should move on just that I will, he said he’s switched of from all of it now, please read my previous threads.
Please help!
I think you are in a good position, as he still cares for you and loves you. You just need to give him space to miss you. You have to go from being the hunter to becoming the hunted. We don’t value those things which comes easily. So if you go away and keep up no contact, even if he contacts you, then you will build up that excitement in once had for you.
Thank you @libertine1, I feel positive just having a moment like we all have.
I’m definitely sticking the 30 days and if I need longer I will do it.
It feels so nice to have this site to talk too.
I hope you doing well 🙂
You are at exactly the same stage as me. Although, I may have to give it 6 months. It is very agonising, especially when it feels uncertain. But it is good to take a step back and remember human psychology.
I’m thinking I may have to give it that long also, I’ve accepted the break up and moving forward but I need to get back to the person he fell in love with.
Keep me posted 🙂
I think mine is a lost cause now. I found her last message to me from October, which I posted on my previous post. She was so angry.
Never say never @libertine1, what’s meant to be will never pass you by 🙂
Thanks. It is just hard to let go when it was the parents decision and she is telling me she loves me but cannot go against her parents. And her final message was so angry and blunt.
It is very hard to let go, she was angry because of the things you had put in your message and then bombarded her, she felt pushed into a corner!
She does still love you but just needs a bit more time and to work on her parents.
Have you sent the magic letter?
No, not yet. What needs to go into the magic letter? I intend to send one to her work address in 4 months, just to apologise and ask to be friends.
My fear is that she will forget about the good times with me and go forward with the new guy, who she saw before she found out about me cheating. The parents made her though. It’s such a ridiculous situation. A happily married couple urging their daughter to dump me and consider others behind my back.
Put in that you have accepted the break up and understand the reasons behind it (you need to be in this place before you do) explain that you have done a lot of soul searching and have a lot of happy things going on but won’t discuss them as yet as you both still news space and time this will heighten her curiosity.
Keep it positive and light and ask if you could possibly be friends.
It is very hard when parents get involved she will listen to them. In time I hope she sees how you love her.
Thanks! I feel it is better to give this time until sending. How long do you plan on leaving it. And will you also send a magic letter?
If that’s how you feel well then by all means do, I plan on waiting until I can accept we can be friends. Maybe 2 months, I will be sending one, I have already started drafting mine because positive have already started and I’ve let go of all the hurt.
Yes, I have thought about drafting mine too. But still need time. I do not want it to be too intense, but rather from the heart and positive. I just feel so hopeless. I sent so many messages with no response. She also blocked my calls. She is in complete lockdown.
Take you time! but in the meantime get a pen and paper and start writing down how you feel and them throw it away, it’s helps clear your mind and to start focusing on you again.
She will not respond as she feels pressured, stick to the NC and let her start missing you and she will then start focusing on the positives in your relationship.
You will feel helpless because your so caught up still. But don’t get up go for a walk start organising nights out with friends.
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