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Do I have a shot? where to begin.. I have been dating a girl for 6 years and last week my whole world just crashed. It started with a party at a friends house I didn’t go to but she did. Apparently while there she hung out with an ex boyfriend. She said that she felt feelings for him. This made her realize how un happy she was. to be fair on this point I will agree. For the last several months I stopped putting as much effort into relationship. Not because I loved her any less just let life get in the way. I took a lot of things for granted and just thought there will always be time. Not to be honest I have realized a lot about my self in all of this because I do see where I became distant. I also realize I have some insecurities about letting people see me as the soft gentle man. I have a need to look big and strong invincible even. This break up really showed me a lot. I have since started seeing a therapist because I want to be a better man the man that is on the inside(not for her but for me). she has told me that there is nothing left! I am just wondering is she to far gone. did I completely push her out of my life. She did tell me when I was breaking the not begging rule when I asked her is this the end of us forever that she doesn’t know the future. and also I gave her the engagement ring told her it was bought from my heart it only belongs to her and she says she is keeping it. that she doesn’t want anything to do with it. be mind full this is the cliff notes version.
@lman1387 – Relationships take effort on both sides. When you slacked off and let other things become a priority, she felt you didn’t love her as much as you once did and was therefore more vulnerable to give feelings to her ex. I’m glad you started seeing a therapist. A man doesn’t have to do too much to show love and care, but your words and actions should make her know without a doubt that you love her deeply. Try to think of all the reasons she was unhappy with you and work on those things in your mind. Of course nobody knows the future, but if you ever get another chance, do a better job of showing your love. What you wrote about the engagement ring is a little confusing. When did you give it to her and if she has it, what does it mean when you said she doesn’t want anything to do with it?
Sorry I am a little scattered brained right now. so I bought the engagement ring a couple years ago. I wanted really badly to give it to her but she said she wanted to finish school (masters) and getting her CPA before we got married. she had a deal with her grandmother that she will get money for a wedding if she does those things. She wanted me to propose and I wanted to also but instead of just giving her the ring I tried to use this as a way to show her that she doesn’t have to do what everyone wants her to do. so I told her that she could propose to me. anyway I never proposed so during the breakup I told her that the ring was hers and that she could have it to do what ever she wanted with it. she said she was going to keep it. I guess im just hoping that its a sign that even though she has nothing left in general that she is hurting right now there is a part of her that still loves me.
@lman1387 – You should have proposed a couple of years ago and given her the ring at that time. A man should do the proposing! You could have been engaged and then be married sometime after she finished her masters degree. When does she finish her schooling? I’m still having trouble following: Did she propose to you and when? So when did you give her the ring?? This is very odd: “I tried to use this as a way to show her that she doesn’t have to do what everyone wants her to do.” Not sure what that means either. Okay, so she has the ring and wants to keep it. Maybe she wants it for a keepsake or maybe she will sell it. Yes, she’s probably hurting and she probably still loves you to a degree, but maybe not enough to want to get back together or enough to still want to be married to you. It might have been a dream a while ago, but sounds like she changed her mind due to the way you treated her.
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