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I brought the system. Pretty helpful.
Here is my situtation and I asked for suggestion for the next step.Brefily introducting the relationship and breaking up:
Me and my bf had sweet relationship before. We have identical goals and talked about future a lot. In a word, we were in exclusive relationship. The breaking-up happend was because of that I didnot drive to see him too much in the August, as I had crazy urgent situation to handle and I exprienced a really hard time. Because of a disagreement in a very small thing, he said he didnot want to see me anymore. I immediately drave to him and apology and begging on him, he sadi he needed time to calm down. So, I gave him time to calm down. Finally, he blocked my phone and said he didnot really want to contitue…..because of we have 2 hours of driving distance. I told him that this can be changed in a year, and I can drive to see him at least once to twice a week, he still blocked me….
After the no contact period for 30 days. I met him in a bar where we always came together before. He was a little bit surpised to see me. I was smiling and we talked about things happening recently. We seemed to have a good time in meeting. After saying good bye, he gave me big hug. He said we can meet again. I asked, when. He said, maybe next week. I told him OK. He said shoot me an email.
Things sound good, right? However, he still blocked me in phone. Addtionally, he did not contact me at all, and I really doubt about that whether he will ask me to meet the comming weekend as he suggested or not? I don’t want to be seem needy, so I didnot contact him and push him at all during the day pass. I am waiting for his initial email….
But it is not comming….
Can any one suggest what I should do? Shall I shoot him an email? How to send the email to let it seems not so needy and desperate? What happend if he did not reply me or ignore me at all?
Please suggest!!!!
Thanks
He said “shoot me an email”. Do you send him an email? Did he not respond to the email?
You say he blocked you on the phone. Did he block messages from you? Is that new or is that from before?
If he said you can shoot him an email, you should shoot him an email. If he isn’t responding to that, you can make sure he is getting them by contacting him a different way to see if he got the email. He said to send him an email, it isn’t being needy to follow up with that. If you know he got your message and isn’t responding, I would go back to no contact for a while so he gets some time to think about the relationship and you do to. After the period of no contact, you can decide what to do next.
First, he blocked my phone including call and text message. However, he did not block my email at all. When I was meeting him in person last week, he told me to shoot him two emails, one is for telling him that I drave safely home; while the other is for meeting in next weekend if I want to.
He clearly told me that he can get my email.
However, when I send him the email telling him that I was driving fine and safe, he did not reply that at all. So, I don’t know how to follow up the email about meeting in the weekend.
I was never a needy person. I just had a hard time in August and I might not give him enough attention and appreciation when I was in a difficult situation.
@Nancy – He didn’t respond to the email about you driving home safely because there’s not anything there to respond to.. However, you should send the second one asking about the weekend. If he doesn’t reply to that one, go no contact.
I’m curious as to whether he ever made the two hour drive to see you in the past? A relationship should be at least a 50-50 compromise.
@patricia12
How to draft the email? Just say, hey…how are you doing? Do you want to meet up for a hiking on Saturday?Or a dinner on Saturday? Something like that?When I saw him last time. We had quite a lot of communication on eyes…i can feel that he still care about me. Also, we talked with each other for around half an hour.
He offered to drive to me before. I refused this idea. Actually..I just moved to the other city for 2 months and my new house was not well set-up…messy and a lot of unpacked stuff…I felt shame to ask him to come..so I suggest wait a bit and give me some time in August to figure out my work and life….He actually got mad at me about this thinking I might hide something and don’t refuse to meet him ….He doesn’t want to listen to my explain..even not forgive me…
These really small things burn out the relationship….
He was mad at me in August that I didn’t see him for more than 10 days….Actually I was crazy and had hard time in the following things even the weekend…
1) my job switched new office in the other city…that is why I had to move in somewhere 2 hours away…The new start is always really busy…I faced working pressure.
2) I was working to change job and move back…that is why I have to use my spare time to do a lot of things which are essentially required for moving back…
3) I just moved to a new house, I didn’t set up things yet…a lot of unpacked box…not established furniture, even very messy…I felt shame to invite anyone come at this time…That is why I didn’t ask him to come to the new house in August…but he might think of something else, like I am dating with some one else or I don’t care him enough…If you are in a relationship with someone, 10 days is a long time not to see them. I don’t think anyone cares about seeing a messy house when someone is in the middle of a move. But that’s not important at this point.
Have you sent the email? I’d just send one about whatever you talked about, keeping it short. 1 or 2 paragraphs.
I was really sorry about it. That was probably the mistake I made, although I didn’t really want to be like that…
I have apologized…very sincere apologized and I am working very hard to move back…
I just want to have a chance to let me fix it….
I will probably send it tonight…just tell him that I would like to meet and talk to him…
Some follow up…
I sent him the email about the plans for weekend..saying meeting like friends
His reply was really awful…
He said we broken up…he hopes me to move on and he had move on..he said the time he met me in that bar was incredibly ackward…he said if he met me again he would just left without seeing anything…He also alarms me not visit him, otherwise he will report to the police…
I didn’t say anything related to relationship or back together at all…
It seems like it is time to finish…
And suggestions?
Yes, that reply is really awful. But at least you know where you stand, maybe it is better than getting no reply because at least you know what his position is.
I think you’ve done the best you could. He asked you to send him an email and then he gave a rude and dismissive reply. I don’t think there’s anything else you can do at this point to cause him to change his mind. Maybe time will do it. Maybe not.
I think he is really a guy with bad maner….I replied his email in a very polite way…I can only let it gone..
It has been a month since the email…do you think I can try to contact him again?
Can I talk to his friends?
If it has been a month, you could contact one of his friends to see if his situation has changed. He was pretty awful in his last email and he hasn’t contacted you. If he hasn’t contacted you, I wouldn’t hold out much hope that he would reply in a positive manner right now if you contacted him directly.
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