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Viewing 10 posts - 1 through 10 (of 10 total)
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  • #72968

    Lafillegris
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 5

    My ex left me 2 weeks ago . His reasons to do so was that his future is not predictable and we should not get used to each other . I totally collapsed as he said so but i was able to control myself and without any sign of sadness , i only wished him good luck and said goodbye -_- but i only asked him not to ever returns and that i don’t want to see him any more . he assured me that he won’t return . I want to know that are there any chances left that he returns after the no contact period is over ?

    #72977

    mr_the_ex
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 28

    Yes, it is possible. However, since you told him you didn’t want to see him any more and not to return, you are going to have to initiate contact with him. He likely won’t do it after the no contact period because he will think the relationship is completely over.

    #73007

    Lafillegris
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 5

    I know that it’s me who should initiate , but as the time goes by , it gets more and more difficult 🙁 the main reason is that if he recieves me coldly , it takes longer for me to heal 🙁 i can’t predict his behaviour -_- but there’s something that i must add . He and i met 5 years ago. During this time , we broke up nearly 4 times and most of the time , i couldn’t continue and it was me who wanted to end the relationship . He told me that he can’t stop thinking about me and now he left me 🙁 can i think of it as a revenge because of all the times that i left him ?

    #73009

    patricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2086

    @lafillegris – You can think of it as he is exhausted and fed up with you breaking up with him so many times. When couples have problems and really love and care for each other, they sit down to resolve those problems together. Think about the way you interact with men and make changes to improve. Maybe in a couple of weeks, contact him and ask how he’s doing as a possible way to open the door of discussion. If he’s sure there is no chance of reconciliation, there’s nothing more you can do and you will have to accept it and get over it the best you can.
    Good luck..

    #73010

    Lafillegris
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 5

    While i left him , it was not because i became intrested in someone else . Our seperation reasons are the same all the time : his job . I left him because he had no time left for me and we could meet once a month . Now he also told me that because of his job , he can’t continue and it’s better to end before we get used to each other more and the seperation gets harder 🙁 i don’t want to be the one who was left behind and the one who looks forward for a chance of getting close to him :/ i don’t like to look needy and desperate :/

    #73012

    patricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2086

    @lafillegris – Were you in a long distant relationship or live far from each other? Is that the real reason for seeing each other only once a month. Men who have busy jobs and love a woman, can always find more time to see her! He might be using the job as an excuse for not seeing you and saying his future is unpredictable sounds like he might be trying to let you down gently because he is not interested in a future with you. Due to the many times you broke up with him and the drama it caused, he might be thinking a long term relationship with you would be very unhappy and he doesn’t want any more unhappiness. You’re already the one left behind and you know you want another chance. One more time to reach out in a couple of weeks won’t seem desperate or needy. Just an opportunity to see what he’s thinking..

    #73013

    Lafillegris
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 5

    We’re living in the same city . Why there were times that we met only once a month was that i didn’t want to be the one who cancels it’s plans because he was busy . There were times that i was lazy or i had plans with my friends and he wasn’t at work . I know and i accept my faults in our relationship :/ this last 6 months we met almost 3 or 4 times a week and this is what he wanted and i could hardly get used to but i did it :/ but he wanted more and wanted me to cancel all my other plans because of him , when i refused , he got angry . The last weeks , he said that he was busy and we fought once or twice and i refused to believe that the reason behind his lack of attention is being busy . Everything seemed to get better until he said that we have to seperate

    #73015

    patricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2086

    @lafillegris – If he wanted you to cancel all plans and when you sometimes refused, it means he has controlling tendencies! Then he uses lack of attention to try and manipulate you. These are big red flags of an extremely difficult and unhealthy future with a man such as this. You would be happier to date and meet someone else without this type of temperament! You will be sad for a while, but in the long run, you will be happier. Please try and find someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

    #73016

    patricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2086

    @lafillegris – First sentence should read: If he wanted you to cancel all plans and when you sometimes refused, he got angry, it means he has controlling tendencies!

    #73017

    Lafillegris
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 5

    Is this so ? I didn’t see my problems from this side and thought that it was all my fault that i’ve been proud or headstrong or somethings like that . Maybe you’re right cause sometimes he said that i should obey him and i just thought that he was kidding and told him that i’m wise enough not to obey anyone …
    OMG ! Your advice is really helpfull
    Thank you very very much

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