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hy kevin i think my situation is different i dont know if the no contact rule applies in this case, here is my story.
My ex and i have been in an off and on relationship with the same guy for the past 2 years and everytime he is the one who breaks up with me and everyone tells me he is not good enough for me. This time everything was perfect. A month ago he told me he was going through some personal problems and he told me about it and he said i think i cant be in relationship right now but we didnt talk about it or pay much attention to it toll last week when l got a text from him saying we need to talk as soon as possible and he told me he needed a break because he is going through some problems and during the break we should not talk or me. I respected his decision and told him i wish him well.
But i didnt get how he didnt want us to talk when i should be there for him and we should be a team then his response was i just need space.I asked him if I had anything to be worried about he said no and said if we get back together again that would be good. I then asked him if that technically mans you are not sure if we get back together and he said something like that. I got mad and asked him so why call it a break when you are not sure call it what it is. and then he said ok we are broken up.
I said thank you for being honest and that was it.So now i dont know if i should check up on him because I know he is going through a rough time and should be checking up on him because i feel like i will be neglecting hiim if doont and then there is the no contact exercise at the same time. please help.I am adding on to the above please help i texted him again last week saying i will support him and when he is ayt will see what the future holds and he told me not to worry about it. He was really nice but he told me he doesnt think we are ever getting back together and he said i guess this is goodbye. I poured my heart out and told him its ayt but i cannot love anyone anymore so if he ever changes his mind i will be here waiting and told him he shouldnt reply me because i will be hurt mor. so it it necessary to do NC after he has made it clear.
@mimie – Only two years and several breakups is NOT a good record. You have to respect his request, so DO NOT contact him. Even if he’s going through a rough spot, he can handle it and it’s not your responsibility to check up on him. You’re not a couple anymore and he doesn’t want to hear from you. Please try to understand and accept that.
So does that mean I should not follow the 5 steps because there is no hope or if l want him I should because I really want him back
@mimie – Because he broke up with you several times, the chance he will want you back is less. You should figure out the reasons about you personally and being in a relationship with you that he didn’t like and improve yourself. He doesn’t want contact with you so don’t contact him! If you do, it will push him further away. Perhaps you should do no contact for more than 30 days, like 2 – 4 months.
i dont think its the things i do that makes it not work, some girl his childhood ex is involved, he once left me for her so at one point i thought i was the side chick because he left me for her when she came from outside the country for the holidays around this time last year and this break up has happened again same time now so she might be back but they broke up or they are getting back together again. I really love him and i want him back though this whole issue is confusing.
@mimie – He left you for an ex so that’s a big clue right there that he wasn’t 100% all in with you. To me, it’s not confusing at all. You two are NOT a good match and he does NOT want any contact from you. Love on one end is NOT enough. Try and get over this and move on.
so even if i want him back i should just let it go because we were good together besides all the drama and confusion.
@mimie – YES, you should let it go. He chose another girl over you and he doesn’t want ANY contact from you. Hanging onto hope will only serve to depress you more and more and prevent you from moving on. Focus on yourself and get on with life. Date other guys and try to be happy..
guess what i just heard from his friend that the day he started saying he needs a break that is the day he went to get the ex from the airport which is clear that he broke up with me because she is back. This means i have only been a part time girlfriend for the last 2 years and i always get dumped when she is back then when she is gone he comes back. The friend was like he loves you but he loves that girl more. I am so hurt considering i cant even picture myself with anyone else and l only love him. I think i am done with relationships and love this is it because all my life every guy i have dated ends up breaking with me their reasons are you too good for me or you deserve better. Imagine your whole life being hurt but this time i thought i had found the one but no its the same thing anyway thank you for your help i dont think i can love anyone else anymore its just too painful
@mimie – I’m sorry to hear your sad story, but time will heal your heart and someday in the future you will find a guy who loves you .. then you will wonder why you were so sad over the other guys.
Take care of yourself and I wish you the best:)
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