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Boards No Contact Rule Day 20

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  • #72986

    CantmoveonSOS
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 5

    Hello,
    I am on day 20 of no contact, and with the end of the 30 days approaching I’m anxious about how to proceed.

    The break up was really tough. We had dated for almost a year and when it ended (first was mutual, then we got back together and he broke if off) I lost control and did all of the things you’re not supposed to: call, text, message on social media, begged for him back…

    The break up was two months ago, but I last saw him the three weeks ago for closure. That was the last I talked to him. I’ve been making the most of no contact– working out, going on dates, taking care of myself… and I do genuinely feel like I have improved since the breakup. Despite this, I am still extremely anxious about if he will respond when I contact him after NC… I’m in love with him and I’m scared he’ll break my heart again.

    My main questions are these–
    Should I add on an extra 2-4 weeks to NC since I was so needy after the breakup?

    Should I just protect my heart and not contact him? He did mention before that he was probably going to move out of state… so he may already be gone

    When/if I DO contact him, I plan on just keeping it light and casual.

    #72991

    patricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2060

    @cantmoveonsos – He already broke up with you twice and said his feelings for you did not come back. He’s on a dating site and believe me, nobody forced him to do it, he simply wants to meet other ladies! You had a bad break up and he said he needs more time which actually means he doesn’t want contact from you especially by the negative way you reacted after the break up. You could add more time than the 30 days, but all things considered, this guy is not a good bet.

    #73003

    CantmoveonSOS
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 5

    Thanks so much for responding. I appreciate you reading my other post too!
    I understand that the odds of getting him back are slim to none, but I’m in love with him and I really want it to work

    The reason we broke up in the first place was because I would get irritated at him for stupid things and we would just banter with each other. When we were back together for that one week, all feelings of irritation I had for him were gone. Now that I know what it’s like to lose him, it just makes me feel like we would be so much better together if he only gave me the chance

    #73011

    patricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2060

    @cantmoveonsos – Men want happy relationships, not ones filled with strife. It seems you got irritated easily and didn’t know how to manage it by interacting with kindness,respect, and understanding of his feelings. Glad to hear the one week was better, but he lost his feelings for you and he’s on a dating site to meet other girls. He’s probably having a great time messaging, phoning, and dating. This makes him happy. If you’ve been working on yourself and you anger issues, he might give you another chance and maybe not. I know you think you two could be so much better together, but it take both to want it, and right now he wants something else.
    Contact him after another couple of weeks and see what happens..

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