Boards Reconciliation Desperate after breakup. Should I try?

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  • #79358
    Sneja
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    • Total Posts: 2

    Will try to make it short. We were dating for nearly 8 months, had distant relationship. First 6 months were great (out of it we spent 3 months together without distance). But after he moved from his native city to new country for postgraduate program. In the beginning all was fine but suddenly he started to change. Nevertheless, we were every single day in touch. We were talking about how we miss & love each other. I tried to support him and understand: new environment, new people, new Life but he was more distant than before. In general he was saying that all is fine with us but I was anxious about his changes. Once I told him about all that, he said that all is fine but suddenly in two days called and said that he is not sure and want to make pause to understand what is going on with himself, he is lost. We discussed it. I said that most probably it’s due to all changes and we should not make fast decisions. Next day he called me by himself and said that fully agree and we should give it a try if I’m still in. I agreed.
    In two weeks I went to visit him, first week was great, for a weekend he invited me to join him to go to another country for some business stuff. It was very exhausting due to much travelling and last two days we both were very tensed due to tiredness. In the eve before leaving we had dinner and I asked if all is good, he said yes, just tired. We agreed that I’ll go with him to airport. Next morning I woke up anxious cuz of bad sleeping and dreams. Told him about it. He was also tenced. We went to airport. He was weird. I decided to leave him in his thoughts. He came back to his city. For three days we were talking as usual, had calls, all seem fine. Suddenly next day he called me and said that we should split up, he needs his space now even he feels that he would regret but he doesn’t want keep me waiting. I asked about other woman: he said no, just so far he doesn’t see our distant relationship (in the beginning he was initiator to date despite the distance and give it try even we were apart). During that last talk I made huge mistake starting to ask him to stay, used stupid arguments to give us a chance. Now feel very bad about it, can’t forget myself for begging. Seems it’s the end.

    #79487
    patricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2868

    @Sneja – Long distant relationships are very difficult to maintain, especially for a man. And in addition he will be busy with studies. He broke up with you and needs his space so give it to him. Don’t contact him at all. It’s all very hear breaking and I’m sure you’re devastated, plus it will be difficult to resist trying to contact him, but you must honor his request. I don’t know how long he will be away, but maybe someday when he returns, he will get in touch with you. For now you need to heal yourself and then get out there and date other guys.

    #79502
    Sneja
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2

    You are most probably right! And I respect his decision. Blame myself for stopping him. But more than that, I blame myself for mistakes that I think I did to push him away from me.

    #79503
    patricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2868

    @Sneja – How long will he be gone and is his home town near you?

    Don’t blame yourself or feel badly about what you did or said that you think pushed him away. It’s all water under the bridge and doesn’t matter now. But if he wanted to stay with you, he would have worked through things instead of breaking up. Men don’t like long distant relationships as they prefer the girl be close by so he can see and touch her etc.. So I have no doubt that’s a big part of his reason for breaking up with you. It will take time to heal, but I’m wishing you the best.

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