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Ok. So I was in a relationship for the better part of 4 years. It started out as a fling behind each of our spouse/significant others back. Year and a half ago we both split with them. I divorced my wife of 7 years she left her boyfriend of 14 years. I was hesitant to take the next step (moving myself and my kids in) finally in dec she told me she was done. I then found out she was talking to another guy. I failed miserably on the no contact at first and looked needy. The whole time she continued to email me while at work and still does. Today I found out she changed her phone number (but still emails). So since she changed her phone number I am adamant to try the no contact. Only problem is in the end of January we both will start working directly with each other. When i was in my needy phase i asked if she would take me back if all this went south which she replied you know I would. But before that also stated, every promise he has made he has kept. But at the time it had only been 2 weeks. So what kind of chances do I have and what should I do?
How do you know she’s talking with another guy? If she’s actually dating him, continue no contact and either let her know you don’t want any communication or ignore her emails. At work, be pleasant, but not overly friendly and no more acting needy or begging. She’s the one who broke up with you so the ball is in her court as to whether she wants to try and reconcile or not. When you asked if she would take you back, her response was a good sign. However, don’t get your hopes up too high.
“But before that also stated, every promise he has made he has kept.” Who is he?
Sorry it took awhile been trying to stay away from everything. Anyways, he is the new boyfriend. Her and I directly work together. Like can’t get away from each other at work. But outside of work we don’t talk unless we happen to run into each other. We just laugh and joke with each other at work. Everything seems fine but sometimes if the relationship is brought up she will bring up the stuff that happened. Although I have already shown that some of it is changed. I also mentioned that when we get together again I’d like for her and my kids and I all to have a dinner and movie night the very first night as my daughter who is 2 is in love with the grinch movie. She replied we will see.. so she keeps giving me signs that she wants to reconcile but then says she doesn’t want to hurt the new guy. What do I do?
Also asked.. like where would my daughters bed be as we already had my sons room ready there. She said we will talk about that another day. Just feel like if she wasn’t thinking about it wouldn’t she just say no?
You cheated on your wife. You were hesitant to move in with your girlfriend and that’s the reason she broke up with you? Do you have full custody of your children? Does the girlfriend have kids?
She cheated on her husband and now she’s involved with another guy. She might not be faithful to you in the long run, have you thought about that? It seems you are groveling..
This whole situation is a mess and sorry, I don’t have any good advice except continue to talk to work through the issues.
Sorry excuse my dumbness lol but what do you mean groveling? And I have full custody of my kids. She has two older kids. One still lives with her. She was faithful to me the whole time. It was just once we fell apart was when she found this new guy. I guess it’s just all the mixed signals she’s giving me. For instance the working together at work, we didn’t have to do that but it was something she wanted before so I did it this time. If she didn’t want anything to do with me, wouldn’t she have not agreed to that also? Sorry I’m so confused. And thank you.
You wrote:”so she keeps giving me signs that she wants to reconcile but then says she doesn’t want to hurt the new guy.”
She keeps you hanging and you go along with it hoping she will get back together with you. Maybe she’s the one who is confused. Maybe her reluctance to try and get back together, knowing it’s what you want, is her way of exacting revenge for not moving in with her. Unless you’re not revealing another reason she broke up with you, I don’t know what to think of the situation. Not wanting to hurt the other guy seems like a flimsy excuse for not getting back together with you. She didn’t mind hurting her husband. And now she doesn’t seem to mind hurting you.
Sorry, I have no idea what’s going on with her. I guess you need to ask her for clarification of her intentions or maybe give her an ultimatum.
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