feeling hopeless and confused

I have posted so many threads but didnt get much advices.
So here is my story!
My reltionship with my ex was not going smooth. He was never there for me for past few months. I have complained and even drifted apart. Nothing seems to work for me. We last met on 1st july. He is emotionally unavailable and likes to be alone now. Never talks to me much. We had a fight on 2nd feb and didnt talk for 8 days. I texted him 3-4 times but he never replied. I apologized him a dozen times but he insulted me and pointed out my mistakes even if there wasn’t a single one. He is a kind of a person who never sees his mistake.
The thing being he told me that he wanted to break up on 2nd. I thought he must have said that in anger like he always does. But he said that we already boken up on 10th as well. On 11th, it was my bday he wished me in the morning with normal “hb” msg but i didnt reply. He even called me in the vening. We talked a bit at night but didn’t hear from him on 12th. On 13th i confronted him and we again fought. I didnt contacted him from then. He wished me valentinea day i didnt respond. Then he texted me on 15th as well and called me on 17th. I talked to him on 18th but he was the same. No change. Wasn’t interested in talking. I had told him all the problems and how he was treating me that night but no response from him. Next day he texted again and we were having normal casual talks and in the middle of it he started saying its over and noting can happen now. I asked him have i said a word about it? He saod no but i ll understand some day. He never replied after that and from then i decided to do NC. It is the end of 2nd day of NC and he contacted me on first day but didnt hear anything from him today.
I dont know what he wants.
He is like pushing and pulling me at the same time.
If we really broke up then why is he talking to me and was actually getting jealous that i was continuously online on my phone.
Why did he wish me vday? And i dont know why the heck he brought up our break up from nowhere when we were having a casual talk. He is dominating and egoistic person. Did he want me to apologize and thats the reason why he is reminding me of break up?
He knows that now i cut him off from my life when im sad or disturbed and i come back when i feel okay.it irritates me but thats what i have become when i find no love and affection from his side.
I cant read his mind and i honestly dont know what he wants. Can somebody help me?