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Thanks for your input JJ
I am following strict nc as u can see. How long should i continue this?
I was thinking of doing nc till he realises what he has done to me.in my honest opinion, your ex is acting like an immature jerk. he doesnt want to be with you but he doesnt want you to move on either because he likes having you around as a safety net. there is too much fighting and on and off in this cycle.
i wouldn’t talk to him for a long time. i wouldn’t go nc with the goal of having him miss you. i would go nc to give yourself time to focus on YOU and what YOU really want and deserve out of a relationship. i think you need a long time away from him before you can decide how you want to proceed.
for now i would really try to forget what he’s thinking. its too difficult to guess and it wont help you. regardless of whether or not you reconcile with him, you need to heal first. stop talking to him and just focus on you and do things that make you happy. if you reach a point in a couple months where you feel calm, less emotional, and more removed from the situation, you can test the waters but i think you both really need a lot of time away from each other to evaluate things.
Thanks for your views.
I have decided not to settle for anything less than what i deserve.
I have already joined the gym again and i already stopped crying. Last time i didnt talk to him after being asked i told him i was scared of talking to him as he would hurt me.
So he knows why i am not talking to him.
I feel less stressed and more relieved now. I still miss him ALOT but i dont like what he has become.I dont want to go on dates as i am not yet ready for that.
I really hope he realises where he was wrong and i am also ready to accept my mistakes if there were any but i am not breaking NC. Not predicting the length of my NC period but i ll continue to be in NC till the whole situation cools down and i am sure about him and about myself too.
Seems fair?you don’t need to push yourself to date. surround yourself with girlfriends. its really the only thing thats helped me. when youre ready, go on a couple casual dates. nothing serious but it helped me get my self confidence back and see there are other guys out there. i don’t want anything serious right now but harmless dating isn’t a bad thing.
dont stress about the length of your no contact period. everyone slips up here and there. its important to just focus on you and your own healing. in a couple of months when you are less emotional you will be better evaluate what you want moving forward. it will also give both of you some time to allow for the dust to settle and experience life without each other and decide whether or not youre happier in the relationship or not.
You are absolutely right!
But i am sure he ll soon reach out the way i want.
When we broke up last time, things were worse that time.
I still can feel that connection somewhere in my heart and i am positive about it.
I just dont know how to react when that situation comes up!Is it possible he might be having grass is greener the other side syndrome?
He told me so many people out there are single and happy. He too wants to have that simple lifestyle.It’s possible. My ex broke up with me because he wanted some time to be single and also to date other girls since he’s only ever been with me. Regardless you can’t worry about what he’s going through. Work on you and he knows how to reach you if he has a change of heart. I spent hours over analyzing my ex and everything he said. He would tell me he wants to be together in the future but not give me a timeframe and then other times he would tell me to move on. He didn’t know what he wanted and it wasn’t until I stopped obsessing over what he was thinking and worrying only about my own healing that I started to heal.
If a time comes that he reaches out and says what you want to say then you will see how you feel then and know how you want to respond. But don’t plan for it because you have no idea if or when that will happen or how you’ll feel. It’s really tough to plan ahead for thse things. Take it one day at a time.
Yeah..i totally get what you’re saying!!
My ex doesnt want to date anyone.
I dont wanna think about him anymore. I ll wait and see what future holds for me.
I already told him everything before and after the break up. I am not going to settle for less. Any how.. thank you so much:)
I ll see what happens nextThis is my day 8 of nc and my ex called me like 3 times at 3 in the morning.
He called me again at 8.30 am.maybe you could call back and ask if it was an emergency. If not, you could tell him that you want to have your own space and resume NC
But that would amount to break the nc?
If it was an emergency he could just leave a text.
He now knows i wont talk to him.
I feel terrible because he aint doing anything to make it work. He isn’t even realising what he has done. I wonder if he would ever realise that.@divjun he’ll realize. Right now his mind is dominating. Patience
@divjun I guess that’s why would should go through NC to see things clearer.
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