-
Posts
-
Sorry for the long post –
Hi, I was wondering whether you can advise me on my current situation. I’m female and was in a relationship for approximately 18 months with another female. Ive been in previous long term relationships however our connection was something different we were so suited but the timing was against us. There were many issues due to her not being ready for a relationship but we gave it ago anyway however generally we were so good together but about 6 months ago she broke up with me after a few weeks of arguing due to how she treated me. I love her a lot and I know how much she loves me however she was not ready for a serious relationship so she couldn’t ever put the effort that I wanted in. It made me needy etc however after approximately 4 months of NC we bumped into each other and then started texting. We have been speaking ever since and have met up a few times and about a month ago we said we would get to know each other again. However I couldn’t stand not knowing whether she was speaking to anyone else… And I know we were both single but I had to ask and I suppose it turned into a argument and since then she has stated it’s just not going to work right now (there’s no one else involved) and she doesn’t know if she will ever get over us both being with other people during the break up. We met up a couple more times as friends but the connection between us is so strong I’m finding it difficult to see past friends. About 2 weeks ago I told her I couldn’t speak anymore because no matter what I was always going to naturally look and hope for more… She agreed but didn’t want to not speak but I said I couldn’t. Anyway this conversation carried on, changed subject and were still speaking 2 weeks later and even met up and have been closer than we have ever been in the last 2 months! I just don’t know what to do because I do want her back as I know despite the bad timing last time we were very good together, we have the same goals, and generally well suited in our morals on our daily life but I don’t want to lose her again out of my life but I don’t want to break my heart in the process! I just don’t get what she wants what I should do or whether to walk away but I don’t get how we would be ever able to come back from it if I walk away again as if anything further happened during another period of NC then … I just don’t know ! Advice please , thank you
Ps were due to meet up again soon, everytime we have met up it’s been fine I haven’t asked about anything from the past or future… Is it worth bringing up now ?
@lauren00 – She told you from the very beginning that she wasn’t ready for a relationship and you should have believed her. Then after you both decide to give it a go, you became jealous and needy. These two things are a big turn off and would never serve to endear yourself to her. I would suggest you focus on school, work, family, friends, hobbies etc and anything else you enjoy. I would also advise you not to smother her by texting, calling, or asking to get together too much. Hang back and let her do some of the initiating. Take it slow and don’t push her or talk about reconciliation! Do NOT bring up the past or future when you meet up. Just try to enjoy the moments and have fun.
If you can’t handle being a friend, it might be better for both of you to move on. But at least try to continue being a person she would want to spend some time with now and then.. Take it slow without pressuring her for a commitment or asking personal questions as to other people she might be talking with or dating etc.. Jealousy and neediness kills love. Good luck.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.