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I dated this guy whom I really liked for about 7 months. We come from very different backgrounds, including growing up in different countries and econmic differences, of course, as well as racial/ethnic differences. When his parents first found out where I was from thy didn’t really approve of (without ever even meeting me) point is im 23, still trying to finish school (about 2 years to go) and he had everything parctically laid out for him. We went through a two break up’s before and got back together despite the big cultural difference, we had a pretty good relationship, we trysted each other and motivated each other all the time, met each other’s friends and blah blah ablah your typical stuff. Recently I was going through some things and he pulled away and evetually broke up with me again… i started nc, a week or two after i asked for my things back and as of now im waiting for them. This is a person i really like but it’s really fucked that now i see him as an unrelable person. Idk what else to do… im hoping that nc either helps me move on or will make him come to his senses.
I hope no contact will help you move on. Too many breakup in only 7 months. Think about dating someone who has more in common with you. I think you would be much happier in the long run.
Good luck.@Patricia12, thank you for your reply I believe your right and I think that’s what’s going to happen but it has been hard for me not to picture my future with this guy. I was planning to block him on social media, and instead I reduce my usage of it because I don’t want him to think that Im doing it out of anger or because he has that power over me. Also since I asked him for my things back, I got a box with everything yesterday.
It’s been about three weeks now from the day we broke up and I’m still really depressed about it, i have kind of isolated myself and spend most of my free time alone in my apartament. Im going out for the first time tomorrow to a coworker’s birthday party. Do you guys have any tips on how to get out there?
Yes, you will be depressed for a while and it’s natural as most people who go through a breakup experience it. You’ll get over the sad moods, especially when you realize the breakup was in your best interest! Yeah, don’t stalk social media or post too much. Glad you got your things back:) Go to the party and have fun. Work socials, church attendance, pursuing hobbies, visit family and friends more often, do things you enjoy like bowling, playing darts or billiards, bicycling, hiking, or whatever you want. Continue strict no contact indefinitely and I’m proud of you. I think you have a bright future, but with someone who shares common interests and could love you for who you are!
PS: Over time you will feel stronger and be able to block him on social media without caring what he thinks! Good luck..
Thank you so much you have great advice! I decided to go watch a movie with a coworker tonight as well.
It’s hard because I am who I am and that’s not something that I could change, it makes me feel so small, however, that people could simply judge based on where one comes from and not on things one has done to improve their life. This is something that has deeply messed me up and probably a big downfall for this relationship since we for the most part had the very similar views on many subjects, just different upbringings.
Thank you for your time btw @patricia12, Im planning not to bug my friends with this anymore bc one of my closest friends has a very “get-over-it attitude” that makes me feel like I really have no right to feel the way I feel or something.
@jj2018 – It will be more difficult to get over the breakup and move on if you only think of the good times. You should remember that he broke up with you twice already! I’m sure you’re upset and the wound is fresh. Your friends want you to feel happy again and they feel helpless to do anything about it. You are the one who has to improve your own state of mind and it will happen. Yes, you have a right to feel like you do, but if you obsess on negatives you only hurt yourself. Focus on school and work. Get out and enjoy yourself and don’t keep repeating your concerns over and over to friends and family. Don’t pay any attention to people who judge you wrongly. Before you know it, life will feel good again:)
That is true!
Also I have noticed he has been posting a lot more on snapchat than he usually did, so I muted him so that his story would not pop up every time he posted something. Is the his being more active on social media tied to his own healing process or is henposting thinking I would react to something he posts?
Nobody knows why he posts more often and it doesn’t matter!! Ignore it and very soon you’ll be strong enough to delete him. Keep up the good work:)
Update: Had a busy weekend. Got dolled up, went to the party, posted pictures with my friends got a little drunk. Sunday I had dinner with one of my closest friends and her SO, also had a great time, posted a few pictures on Snapchat. My ex saw everything a posted, including someonthing I posted this morning. He proceeded to delete me from all his social meadia. Im unsure of how I feel about it, im not sad about it… a little shocked… im not sure how to describe it?
Realized now that He had messaged me asking if i got my things back a few days ago but I never replied.
It’s a good thing he deleted you from all social media and now you should delete him too. Maybe send a 3 word reply to his asking if you got your things back..Yes, thank you.
I’m so proud of you that you’re moving on and having fun with friends. Stay positive and upbeat:)
I have started to freak out a bit about him unfriending me, it looks as if the reason he did it was me ignoring his msg asking whether or not I got my things but posting pictures with my friends in snapchat. We had a similar situation before and he didn’t address it by deleting me from his friend list. I have not reacted, that he knows of, to any of it. I sure don’t feel good about it and it’s really messing with me.
Please stop obsessing about social media and why he unfriended you! What good does it do? Does it help you to move on? No! Your own mind and thoughts are messing you up. Stop thinking about it and continue to enjoy your friends, family, and life. You are the only one who has control of your thoughts. Divert them to other more pleasant things.
You’ve been amazing! @patricia12 . After seeing a post on social media that sort of suggested he might be dating someone else already, I have blocked him. I have a lot other things to worry about like school and my father being sick, I still think about him unfortunately and creating scenarios in my head that I seem not to be able to stop.
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