Boards Reconciliation Hi, I kinda need some advice in my current situation

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  • #97366
    Pegupe10
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 3

    Hi everyone, thanks for stopping by my post

    First of all, I want to tell you my story with my ex, we were together for a year and she left me three weeks ago.

    We met two years ago in an event and we instantly had a deep connection. We were friends for a year and then we decided that we wanted to be more.
    The relationship was amazing, we had the same interests, the sex was great, we talked about anything and everything, and we talked every single day.
    But this last January I had to study hard for some important test I had that month, so I asked her for some time to study. And then I got very anxious, I didn’t know if what I am studying was going to be of any use, and got a little scared of the future.
    Then we started to get in more arguments, and i started getting frustrated and angry and sour to her.
    I started feeling better and we fixed all of that, or so I thought, and she started saying that she wanted to marry soon, and wanted to live together and stuff like that, and I got scared and told her that I didn’t know if I wanted that so soon. She got really hurt about that but she understood that maybe it was soon and left it at that.

    But then she started saying things like she felt I was more distant, and that she thought I didn’t loved her anymore, and I tried to demonstrate her that it wasn’t truth but I don’t know if it worked.
    And then, the day after our anniversary she said out of nowhere that she didn’t felt that the relationship was real, and she broke with me.
    Me, being confused and hurt, acted needy and sad for a week or two asking her to reconsider, apologizing for everything and asking for a second chance, now I know that was a mistake and probably worsened our situation.
    I tried NC for a while, and in the third day she texted me asking how i was and I broke NC and we spoke that day, we talked like before enjoying each other and she wanted to see me this Sunday, so I accepted.
    Then we didn’t speak anymore untill yesterday, because I wanted to know the place and time to meet and she said to me things like it’s over, I meet someone else and that she did something Friday night but she didn’t want to tell me.
    After all of that i asked her for at least a month in NC and she agreed, but before i went into NC she told me that I was an amazing person very important to her and that she will never forget me and that our relationship was good and she didn’t know what went wrong. I just said that we will talk soon and that’s it.

    I think the reason we broke up was because we didn’t communicate correctly our feeling and that I kind of felt like the relationship was for granted.

    So I want to ask to you, do you think there’s hope for reconciliation? And do you think she still feels something for me?

    I’m currently working in myself and trying to improve myself and going out and stuff like that.

    Thanks a lot for reading and if you decide to help I couldn’t thank you enough, I’m very confused right now about what to do

    #97395
    Scotch
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 31

    Sounds like she may be in a rebound but still misses you. Continue with the NC. Let her rebound fail on its own. Keep working on yourself. Just in case she’s in a rebound when you end NC, read Kevins articles on what to do.

    #98056
    a.z
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 778

    Hey,

    Yes you do have a chance.stick to the plan and focus on yourself.

    Good luck

    #100214
    Pegupe10
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 3

    Hi again, thanks for answering and sorry taking to long to answer I was keeping me busy during NC.

    She contacted me yesterday and I did finish NC because I felt ready to speak to her again. You were right, she told me that she dated a guy for a week but they broke it off because she was emotionally unstable.
    I tried to keep the conversation casual and frendly and she did enjoy talking to me again. But she did bring up that she didn’t know if our past relationship had a future and I said to her that when the time comes we will talk about all of that, that I was just happy to talk to her. She answered positively and felt the same. The conversation turned a bit flirty in the end and she send me a picture of her asking me how she looked and that was all.

    So what should be my next step? I really don’t know what to do from here

    And did I should talked to her about the problems of our relationship when she asked me?

    Thanks again for your help and your answers

    #100355
    Pegupe10
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 3

    Update:

    I just ended a conversation with her. Everything was going smooth untill she said that the reason we broke up was because she had a lot of people trying to date her. I didn’t really get what she was saying and she snapped saying everything that we argued for and that she didn’t want to be with anyone right now and got angry saying that I didn’t change that much.
    For the record I didn’t say anything about getting back together nor did I say anything about changing, I just dropped that I worked on myself a lot.
    I ended asking her if she would ever give me a chance to rectify all of my errors and she said maybe
    Did I screw up everything?
    What can I do now?

    #100471
    patricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2868

    She is either more interested in perhaps just dating without being in a relationship OR she told you a lot of people are dating her to make you jealous. Either way, she’s not ready to reconcile. You said you’re working on yourself which to me sounds the same a trying to change for the better. I don’t think you screwed up, but don’t contact her again for at least a month or two. If she contact you in the meantime, be polite by answering any question she might have or if no response is needed, either don’t reply or give a short casual comment and no more flirting! Good luck:)

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