Boards No Contact Rule How to handle Instagram stories and Facebook?

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  • #73934
    foxtrot
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    • Total Posts: 2

    I have recently gone through a messy breakup, at first she said she didn’t know what she wanted, I begged and pleaded for almost a month, she finally ended things, but wanted to be friends, I entered NC after a traumatic panic attack (I even told her about it). It’s been 2 weeks of NC so far.
    She hasn’t contacted me (I think she knows it will hurt me), but after a week she started liking and sharing some of my facebook posts and memes, she likes almost every photo I upload on instagram (I usually post my art), and always watches my stories.

    Can this actually mean she misses me? I only upload on Instagram stories photos of me going out and having fun, can this improve my chances?

    #73959
    patricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2868

    @foxtrot – Continue with no contact for at least 2 more weeks. Posting too many things about going out and having fun can backfire as she will think you didn’t care about the relationship and can get along just fine without her. I don’t know how long you were together, but she probably misses you, yet that does NOT mean she wants to reconcile. A girl wants to be happy in a relationship with a guy who treats her right. Whatever caused her to want to break up, you can change those things about yourself. One thing that sort of jumps out to me is telling her you had a panic attack and you thinking she hasn’t contacted you because she knows it will hurt you. Sorry, but this makes you seem like a wimp. A guy is supposed to be a little stronger than that. I know you’re upset about the breakup, but try to get a hold on your emotions. It will probably take a little time before (if she’s willing) to have a calm logical talk about what went wrong and how to fix it.

    #74159
    foxtrot
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2

    I stuck with the NC for 30 days, and wrote her something simple, my parents went to a place were she wanted to go someday, I planted that idea on her mind early in our relationship and was one of our “dream plans”, so I thought it was the perfect conversation starting piece and sent her a couple of photos of the place, a couple of days later I went and wrote her asking her about one place we once went to her birthday, that I couldn’t remember the name of the place, I kept it both brief and simple, the next day she wrote me, asking if you could use one of my drawings (that I made for her) as a profile picture, I said yes that it was her drawing , again brief and simple, I’m now waiting a couple days to write her again.

    She still “stalks” my instagram stories, likes my art, and is always very eager to “love” and share my art on facebook, I try as hard as I can not to give “value” to that, she always liked my art, but was never actually that active in sharing my things, but I think it’s because of guilt, when we talk she always asks me how I’m doing.

    #74163
    patricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2868

    @foxtrot – Glad she responded and it sounds “friendly”. Don’t post so much on social media! Let her miss you more and wonder where you are. If you’re constantly posting, it’s like you’re in her face so to speak. And DO NOT write so much! Maybe once a week at most! Allow her time to initiate contact and if you want to be friends, ask to meet up for coffee or a drink sometime.

    How long were you together and why did she break up with you?

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