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This might be a long post, but i hope you guys read and advice me on what i should do.
I’ll break it down to what happen then how we were when we were still together.
My girlfriend just broke up with me for about a week now. Things ended very ugly, for about 4 – 5 months, she said she has not been happy at all. We had been together for about 1 year and a month. And in between, she would tell me she wanted to break up with me but choose not to because she wanted to keep trying. But I could feel she was not even trying with 100%. But on my side i was trying to improve on the things she had told me to. I did everything i could, or should i say, i thought.
We started having loads of arguments, and she would always find her ex because she says they are best friends and she needed someone to talk to. But i didn’t trust her ex. Or maybe i didnt trust her enough. I became so insecure whenever they met and texted because she seems so much more happier. I tried to start topics so we could talk but replying her msg was much more important. As time passed she slowly started to just feel that she didn’t need to tell me she was safely home. She went out on her own and we argued a lot. Till the day she asked to break up, i cried and asked for a month to makes things right, she agreed but the next moment after forcing me to head home, she went off to her ex place and spend the night there and only left when she met me for dinner the next day. We argued and she broke up with me offically. I tried all ways to talk to her to make her stay but nothing worked. She said she still love me a little but no longer enough to carry on anything. I’m so broke and had cried for days. I did many stupid things to get her back but all of which were useless and she almost blocked me.
I now try to keep my cool and think of what she has said to me, but i’m not sure if she would ever want to get back. After reading about NOR i might just give it a try. But i still feel so sour in the heart, everything reminds me of her and i’m afraid that she would meet someone new.
During our relationship, she really did so much for me. She changed me as a person but as time passed, she did lesser and lesser, so did i because i felt it was not fair. I even moved in with her because she could not go a day without me at the start but slowly it didn’t matter if we met or not. She is the only girl that was different. She was the only one i had so much memories with and now i can’t let go and it hurts so much. I would like to know what are the chance that i would be able to get her back?
We are on talking terms now, but she has not taken her stuff from me so we cannot cut contact just yet. It hurts me to see how fine she is. She still keeps some of my things, but she does the same to her ex. She says she don’t want to be in a relationship now and it’s not the time to talk about getting back together. What should i do? I really want to get her back and treat her right.
@brokenlostsoul – I’m assuming you no longer live together. She sounds confused and might have more feelings for her ex than she will admit. Arguments and jealousy destroy relationships. Stay no contact and she might remember the good times and want to meet up to try and reconcile. You both would have to be sure of your feelings and talk about ways to please each other in order to make a possible future relationship better than it was before. Good luck.
She is 25 and I’m 20. We have an age gap of 5 years. She thinks I have a childish mindset. But she always told me that she would never get back with her ex an that it is for sure impossible. During those times, she started changing when her ex had came back from overseas and got back into contact. I’m too confuse at that point and it made me do so much more lesser as i felt hurt and as time passed, she stopped and finally gave up. I felt so lost as to why suddenly she just wanted to completely break up with me when just a few days before our break up, she told me we had to talk just not at the moment. I even took the time to think about all that I had done wrong or not done enough.
She told me she wanted to choose herself for now and would not like to talk about anything regarding patching up. I managed to pull myself together and somehow found out about this page. Now we are just talking like normal friends and I would try to reply as slow as I can, I would not reply right away as I might look needy and if she didn’t reply, I would not send another text to her.
I’ve done so much and it just seems not enough during the time when we were still together. I just want to find a way to make her attracted to me once again and do it right this time. From my understanding is that right now, she says she still loves me but maybe 5% I would say? I see hope in saving this, so i just want the best advise right now.
@brokenlostsoul – In what ways did she think you were childish? Have you changed yourself in those ways? Give her space and time to think about everything and later on if she contacts you, meet up with her to talk, but DO NOT display any jealousy! If you get the chance to see her, you can show her how you’ve matured. I’m sorry you’re hurting and I understand breakups are heartbreaking.
Don’t give up hope yet .. wishing you the best.The way i handled the break up. It was all too sudden for me and it really made me so lost at that moment. I do agree to that. And the first few days i really wanted to end my pain. In the end after hearing what she has scolded me i pulled myself together and i found this page.
I don’t know if doing NCR will make her pull herself away because she really looks fine but i don’t know whats really going on in her mind. I’m just scared during this period someone starts trying to get her heart.
@brokenlostsoul – How long did she live with you? Do you have your own place? When did she move out? You wrote she felt that she didn’t need to tell me she was safely home. Okay, there were problems long before the breakup and you tried to improve, but she wasn’t trying as hard.. What were those problems? Apparently they were bad enough that she wanted to breakup a few times, but didn’t until about a week ago. Was she meeting and communicating with her ex the whole time you were together (about a year). People want to be happy in relationships and guess neither of you enjoyed being in the relationship for a long time. What made you unhappy about her and what made her unhappy about you? You can’t force her to change (she has to want to and try), but you can change things about yourself. She would have to want to come back to you and there’s not much you can do to force a decision about that. No contact is a time for her to think about it, but there’s no guarantee she would not meet someone more compatible. For now she wants to be by herself. After about a month, maybe ask to meet so you can return her things and try to have a calm talk. Don’t beg, just talk about how you could each improve to make things better, if she is willing. Otherwise maybe you both need to move on and find more suitable partners.
I’ve been slowly moving into her place since we got together. And time i would be back home. When i’m not with her, those are the times she would not tell me that she is safe.
Long before the break up we have been having problems and she never really voiced out what was wrong while I tried for at least tell her but she never ever gets it. For a whole 4-5 months all she ever says is she has not been happy. We tried to talk things out and I did what she said that I’ve stopped doing.
I want to be able to pass a day with out having to think of her. Everything reminds me of her now and the break up really left a big scar. I feel so much anger right now and also realise how unimportant I am to her already. As something had happen I went into panic mode and texted her because i really needed her by my side for support even as a friends. She didn’t bother.
I’m really depressed already and I pass each day thinking about us. I really want to stop. I’m so metally drained out and hurt….
@brokenlostsoul – Is English your native tongue? I’m still confused about the living arrangements. Did you move out or are you living with your parents now? Having her let you know if she got home safe and getting upset if she didn’t, sounds a little controlling and needy. She is a grown woman and can take care of herself, but I know you were concerned too. You didn’t say what happened to send you into panic mode that you needed support. Anyway, I understand you’re hurting and depressed over the breakup situation and you’re not alone. Everyone that gets dumped is sad, at least for awhile. It takes time to adjust and accept it. Try to divert your thoughts and don’t obsess about the situation. You will feel better over time, I promise.
Sorry to confuse you, yes I live with my parents, so does she. It’s normal in my country to be staying with our parents even at this age.
I got into panic mode as there was an accident and my mum was sent to the hospital. I was by her side and was confused and lost as I’ve already lost my father, my mother is the only one I’m left with. I got scared, lost and just needed someone but that someone was just her.
It became a habit to know that she is safely home as when we started off, she always made sure to let me know she is safe. And most of the time I’m always by her side thats why I feel uneasy when she does not let me know.
I have not contacted her for about 5 days and then she contacted me to get her stuff. She came by and i passed it to her and left. We barely spoke. A day later which is today. She dropped me a text saying goodmorning and hope everything is going well for me. I didnt reply but just wish to know like does it mean anything?
Hey @BrokenLostSoul, I’m going through exactly what you’re going through right now. We just broke up 2 days ago. I’m 22, she’s 29. She didn’t feel secure with me because of where we are now in life, and wasn’t sure if she could wait for me to complete my studies in four years time. We would have been together for 6 months next week.
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