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I know what happened. I’m not good enough for her. I don’t make enough money and I changed my life trajectory to meet her on her plane. I’m not saying it was a bad change but she abandoned me before I even got the chance. You’re right. I am angry. I have every right to be angry and rageful. I hate what she did to me when we went away, because I didn’t deserve it. I may have got complacent in our relationship but I wouldn’t treat my worst enemy the way she treated me.
It doesn’t matter who wanted to meet up and I’m sure she’s mad I was “doing well”. I think she’s being petty with me trying to gain edge in the break up.
I don’t know why she was so cold. I don’t care why. But I didn’t deserve it. I never hurt her. But I want to. I want vindication. My mental health is already suffering because of how she broke up with me, when, circumstance. I can’t help but feel angry. And I don’t care that I do. She deserves to be hurt. The pain she caused me deserves to be reciprocated.
@bigslick1251 – Some men have treated me badly, and I was upset for a while too, but I NEVER wanted revenge. You really need to seek counsel and / or talk to a minister.
Hey Patricia,
It’s been a long time. I went through my 30 day no contact. I’ve reached the point where I’ve decided I want to try and get her back. I messaged her 3 separate times this week. I heard back from her. I was being positive asked her a couple questions, like where was X and hey I was here and you should go.
She went cold on me and I haven’t heard from her. I’m not going to bombard her with messages but what should I do? Do I wait a week and try something else? I can provide you the messages if you think it would help.
Please help me.
@bigslick1251 – I wonder if you let go of your resentments or are you secretly still angry about the past? You wrote above:” .. asked her a couple questions, like where was X and hey I was here and you should go”. This question is unclear to me. Yes, it might help if you provide the messages. What you said and her reply.
I was mad at everything that happened to me as our relationship crumbled. I couldn’t stop it and that’s why I was so mad. I don’t want to hurt her, I do love her dearly. I’m not entitled to an apology but I feel like I want one. I’ve let it go and all I’ve tried to do is improve upon myself for the last month.
She replied to me shortly after this post. Monday I told her I went rock climbing because that’s something we did together. She still has a membership to the place we went together. I don’t. I said I went somewhere else with a friend to rock climb. I told her I would talk to her later. I didn’t want to prolong this first time we’ve talked.
The second time (Friday) I told her I went to a karaoke place. She’s always wanted to go to one so I told her a little about it, made a joke about how bad my singing was even though I’m proud of it. I told her my school might be going on strike this Monday. She didn’t respond. Probably because I didn’t ask her a follow up.
Today, I pretended to forget the name of a restaurant her and I went to. She told me. I asked her if she was going to a local fall event in her city. She said she didn’t know what it was. I told her about it, and said I was really surprised she wasn’t going. She said she’s never heard of it lol. I said I was going down, maybe I would see her there. I wasn’t actually inviting her nor asking her to go with me I was just being friendly. She said probably not. I said no worries, thanks for the information about the restaurant we’ll talk soon.
I’m trying to contact her everyday. From here on out. I have a couple ideas here and there over the next couple days to spark a conversation. Examples.. Hey i saw this movie the other day, you should go see it. I know you would like it. Hey i was at X and I thought I saw you. You looked great Her reply.. no i wasn’t there. My reply, oh well the last time we were there everyone was looking at you. And to meet up I would use something like I have an assignment due this week ( I have 4) and I was hoping you could help me by looking it over for me. (shes a really big school nerd)
Maybe you could help me with some general strategy? I’ve talked to her 3 different times. All i’m trying to do is get her talking. Get myself in her thoughts. Anything you could suggest would be extremely helpful.
@bigslick1251 – You mentioning assignments sounds like you started college? If so, do you go part time and still have a job? Still living with parents?
Contacting her everyday sounds very cling and I suggest you not do that! And never say you SHOULD do something. A better idea about a movie; I saw this movie the other day and I think you would like it. The idea about “I was at X and I thought I saw you” is ridiculous. You should NEVER lie about anything! Trying to get her to talk because you think it will get you in her thoughts is also not a good idea. Of course she thinks of you sometimes as you’ve been through a lot together. You don’t need to be in her face all the time by trying to start conversations and contacting her everyday! Your meet up idea might be good, but seems like a sudden request if the assignments are due as soon early this upcoming week.
She just messaged me saying she found my winter toque. I responded You did? That’s great! I’d love to get it back.
I won’t bombard her with texts maybe a day on and a day off from hearing from me would be better? I guess I have meet up planned if she wants to give me my hat back in person.
We’re meeting up this weekend. Similar situation, she has something of mine. What is my goal here not to frighten her? Just try and score a second date if you will?
When you love someone, you never want them to hurt and never want to hurt them. Ever. No matter what they do. Even if they hurt you terribly. That is the nature of love.
If you find you want your partner to hurt or you want to hurt them at some point, you do not love them and you should not have a relationship with them. And that’s what is best for both of you.
I appreciate your input. But as I said, i was very angry for how our break up went down. And also, that this was before my no contact period. My mind was clouded. I’m more concerned about meet up with her this weekend. And what to do.
Patricia,
We decided to meet up this weekend or at least that’s what supposed to happen. She needs to return something of mine. This was Sunday. She mentioned on Sunday she was worried I was just trying to get back with her. I told her that’s not my goal. I would just like to have her in my life. I ended up apologizing for the last 3 months of our relationship, when things weren’t very good. I told her that’s not who I am. She said I know.. but I’m sure she was agreeing with me to shut me up. She went to bed shortly thereafter. I sent this conversation to a friend and he said by the way she was responding it looks like she needs space. Yesterday I just tried to keep talking to her, I sent her 1 message saying, Hey is this still happening at your work? She didn’t respond. I called her this evening to try and confirm our coffee plans this weekend. I left a message, I was positive, I casually mentioned how I came back from volunteering (something she wanted me to do). Yea it was 8pm. So maybe I’m overthinking this.
Can you please help me? I’m sure the truth is somewhere between I’m insane she loves me and wants me back and she never wants to hear from me again, but I cannot figure out where. It’s probably closer to the not hearing from me.
@bigslick1251 – You’ve been contacting her too much. You should have just waited until Thursday or Friday to confirm plans for this upcoming weekend. She made it clear she doesn’t want to get back with you.
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