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she txt me last night asking “how’re things?” i didnt reply till today, all i said where “things are okay. did your nan like her card?” (i put on the card from john barrowman, her nan things i look like him.. lol. she just replied and said “yeah she did haha sure john barrowman”
i wont reply now and see how she keeps reacting, little contact as possible to no contact at all. i am doing this guys! haha
good 😀 im proud of you, that was really good ahah, im excited to see what happens next 😛 let her initiate now
still nothing as of yet, i will update here every time it does happen though. im just clinging on hope this will all work out in the end..
Keep going @Thargus and focus on you. Your situation is very unique and complicated but she needs to realise you’re not at her beck and call.
I really do hope that it works out for you because from what I’ve read on here she likes having you in your life but doesn’t want to commit to a relationship. Perhaps over time with you not initiating any contact, she’ll come to realise what she’s lost.
Hey @ami @robertize My ex just contacted me today (big surprise) and ask me about my summer trip.. I still act cool. And I also found that the girl he’s talking with change her avatar with a photo of my ex when he was a kid. Can it mean something??
Honestly guys. I’m in no position to give advice. I ended nc after a month trying to be friends with my ex and she ditched me twice. I’m done. It hurts. But things don’t go as planned. Hope u guys have better luck.
So another contact has been made yesterday.
she said this, “i almost died in the gym this morning. those bloody steps.”
shes clearly just trying to get my attention sending something so random.i replied today in the evening (on purpose) saying “lol they are so much fun. i had to work a 14 hour shift yesterday then back in at 5:30am. hells bells.”
she has just replied saying “Rough. this is my first week of working 7 days a week and im already cream crackers”
ill either wait another while to reply or not reply to this one. unsure as of yet. need to take a step back and think.
i dont know if this is heading in a right direction or what..
but i do think that these things are on her mind :-
1. shes sort of wondering why i havent asked about her new job.
2. shes wondering why im so quiet all of a sudden. ( which is why shes trying to get me to get my attention with a random text every so often)
3.becuase im so quiet, shes probably wondering what im up to.
4. i think.. MAYBE.. could be overthinking this.. that she has talked to her friend about this. her friend randomly text me the other day asking “how i am and how is my nan?” (nan isnt well atm see) but, she never ever texts me or anything really, only ever about overtime at work or something. and i said “im okay thanks, a little in the dumps, but other than that im okay, thanks for asking :)” to which she didnt reply..
then a day later her very same friend put a picture of them both on facebook together while they were out. THAT is most likely coincidence, and just something she wanted to do. but it did cross my mind. i cant help that.again iw ill say, this is way harder than i imagined it would be.
but i guess.. its kind of nice to know that she is sort of “thinking about me” ina way that, “i wonder what hes doing? hes been quiet?”
and i cant help think that shes a little nervous in wondering, otherwise she would just outright ask me ” so whats up? what’ve you been doing? your quiet etc blah blah.”
but all she is doing is trying to get my attention. hmm.we will keep this going.
thank you all by the way for the support, honestly its outrageously awesome of you all. i know ive been lackluster on here but i will admit its because i have been heavily down in the dumps to to circumstances and we all feel the same way, so im going to make myself more committed on here to help you lot just as you help me. i havent really been fair in that sense so.. yeah haha
@Thargus Honestly, you really need to keep contact to a minimum. That text you got today was breadcrumbs that you’re probably reading too much into and IMO shouldn’t be replying to at all.
She wants your attention and every time you reply to silly and frankly lazy texts like that you’re just feeding her the attention she craves.
To me it’s clear she misses your attention but I’m not entirely sure she misses you (you know your ex better than anyone so feel free to disagree with me). If she really missed you to the extent she wants to work on your relationship then she’d put the effort in.
As Amy said a fair bit ago in this thread, someone doesn’t realise what they’ve lost until they don’t have it anymore. So go as limited of contact as you can! And hang in there!
I agree with ty10
I know I keep saying this but you need to cut it off. Don’t reply ANYMORE. You said you don’t know where this is heading? Let me tell you: Nowhere! Sorry, its the truth! How long has it been? 4 5 months? And you STILL talk 2 3 times a week? It never went anywhere, why would it be going anywhere now? You seriously need to answer to her MAYBE every other text, meaning you will ignore texts, or take DAYS to text her back. You need to MOVE ON, you are still holding on, still thinking too much and thinking what will happen if you do this or that. Just totally focus on you, go out, go to clubs, dont meet up with her, just dont give two fucks about her. She is seeking you cause she needs someone to fill the void and to keep you hanging. I can assure you if you dated someone tomorrow, she would come crying begging for you. 90% sure of that. She is being an attention seeking egotistical person. If she had any consideration towards you she would know to give you some time to get over her. She doesn’t want that and doesn’t care if she is keeping you on a leash
thing is, im not a club type person or things like that, i need to figure out a way of meeting someone for a date somehow
Honestly. Replacing her won’t help. You need time. Yes.. it will hurt for a while. But I tried the whole being with another person deal.. the whole time I thought about her. Even in bed. So yeah. It takes time. Just try to improve yourself and sadly admit that she might never come back. It will get tough and lonely.. and most likely no one except this board will know what you are going through. Just work on you.. and I wish you the best. Don’t fall for her attention traps.
It really depends from person to person. It might help some, It might not help others. Meeting people and going on dates wont be all that bad. Just go with an open mind, focus on who is in front of you, enjoy your time with that person. You arent gonna be looking for the love of your life. Just distract yourself and think you are making afriend. I remember clearly the first times I could actually go out of the house and be hours with barely thinking about him. I was amazed. I started to actually enjoy myself and started living life for me. Then dated. I cried the two times I was alone with him. And cried on a night out after getting drunk and he was there too. But it made me feel more confident. He was nice and cute it helped a lot. I enjoyed being with him.
One thing I learned is dont try to mask the pain in the beginning when its really bad. Dont drink or zone out or go have one night stands. Deal with it cold and raw. But then just put in your mind that you NEED to live your life. This is your life. Your life isn’t about someone else, it’s about you. Go out there, do things you’ve never done, see the great in life.
About clubs, maybe you need one or two vodkas? Have you really tried going clubing or just 1 or 2 times? 😛 I loved it before now not so much, but can still enjoy it cause I love dancing and meeting new people
@Thargus you need her out of your system! Focus on yourself, try new things and if you think going on a date would help maybe try that too. It’s all cliche but very true, you simply need to rid yourself of the burden of your past relationship.
If she contacts again, unless it’s to meet up and talk about things, ignore it. If she does care about you, she’d give you the time and space you need to heal, and you are still healing!
I’d even say if it gets to the stage where it’s too much for you, tell her that you need sometime and space to sort things our in your head and to get over her.
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