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My girlfriend and I talked for a month after breaking up with her leading me on twice and going hot and cold, before we both decided to have a period of no contact. She broke up with me and says she doesn’t love me anymore, even though she said she did days before we started no contact. I’ve been following the 5 step plan since we started no contact and have made a lot of progress. Should I still follow it to the tee or take less time so she doesn’t lose feelings?
@Dom – Stick to whatever time table you both agreed to regarding no contact. Think on the reasons she decided to break up with you and improve yourself in those areas. Apparently she already lost some feelings for you, so more or less time of no contact won’t really make much difference. You don’t say how long you were together, but she wanted to leave you due to not feeling happy. Good luck..
Yesterday she dropped some of my things by my house when I wasn’t there and a note saying she knows it is over for good. I’m not sure if this is her dealing with the breakup and convincing herself of it or if it really is over for good. We have been in no contact for a week and a half and I got really close to breaking it, which I still might because I don’t want her to lose feelings and move on if she is convinced (for right now) that it is over. I made the mistakes and want to apologize to her. Should I wait it out and risk her losing all feelings? We dated for 6 months but it was very serious.
@dom – Wow only 6 months and she wanted to break up!?! Usually the first year or more is very happy. There must have been some serious negative issues going on.. What did you do? If she said it’s over for good, you should take her at her word. I have a feeling that you’ve already apologized and if so, continue no contact while you work on yourself. This will benefit you whether you get back with her or not. Doing no contact might make her miss you or maybe not. But it will give her a chance to clear her head and clarify her feelings. Whatever will be, will be. You can NOT talk her into or out of loving emotions and time won’t be a factor. Do the right thing by not contacting her as that is what you both agreed to.
6 months is the longest relationship she has ever had. I just found out today she has been in a relationship since last week, 4 days after we started no contact. She said she wouldn’t date anyone for a long time after we broke up but I had suspicions she liked him. I’m really unsure if it is a rebound but it was 4 days after we last talked. This is the toughest part yet and I was totally blindsided.
@dom – It doesn’t matter if the guy is a rebound or not. The point is that she is now with another guy. Stop obsessing about things that happened in the past and get on with your life.. I know it’s tough, but you need to do it for yourself.
I’m trying to. At this point I don’t really want her back but there is no doubt I’m still in love, and she was too at one point. She lied to me over and over, even saying she wouldn’t date anyone for a long time and 4 days later getting in a relationship. It sucks because of the effort I put in and how vulnerable i made myself to her. I’m trying to move on and I realize what I need to do and that I will get better but it is easier said than done. I think she still cares about me and I was her best relationship ever, but looking at her past history she rarely goes more than 2 weeks without being in a relationship. She feels guilty. She deleted over 50 pics of us together on her facebook and blocked me, but hasn’t done that with any other ex. I at least feel a little better knowing shes guilty and I know she isn’t over me. I will lose feelings soon enough realizing these things. Thank you for your advice though I appreciate it. It’s all up to time now.
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