-
Posts
-
My ex hates me because I initiated no contact.
He broke up with me and, fast forward to a few weeks, he wanted to be friends. I agreed but I couldn’t take that he likes someone else now and it’s ruining me emotionally to act friendly with him while also wondering what’s up with them (they’re not officially together but he likes her). So I told him I needed space. He became devastated but I held on to my word. It’s become too toxic that I had to block him off facebook (our most common medium for communication). Immediately after, he sent me a tirade of texts proving how upset he was for being blocked. I explained to him again thay I need space and why.Two days later, I decided to unblock him. Not because I want to talk to him again but to ease my feeling of being guilty of blocking someone off. A few minutes after, he messaged me saying, “So you changed your mind again. What a surprise”. But I didn’t reply.
He’s obviously mad at me. But I know I should keep the no contact rule. Will our chances be ruined more?
to answer your question i need to point out some things first.
You did mess up alot showing him that youre hurt and that you cant take that he likes someone else. Please, do me a favor and NEVER BLOCK A GUY EVER. This gives him complete power. he knows he is in your head seeing that you blocked him then unblocked him. (trust me, i know all about this because ive been a horrible boyfriend for a while and i know i won when a girl blocks me)
I would suggest that you start your no contact rule WITHOUT telling him. you need to make him miss you. you need him to wonder where you are. humans are curious beings and they WILL eventually fall in the trap of asking you what youre doing. dont reply. you need these 30 days for yourself. you need to get to the point where you are okay with him dating someone else and that youre gonna get him back. you know him more than her and you know what he wants and how he feels.
This girl might probably be a rebound if its really close to your breakup date and you shouldnt worry about it. if you become a good friend of his one of these things are gonna happen:
1. He’ll snap and be like “crap i actually really miss her”
2. Shell snap and be like “he doesnt love me, he chills alot with his ex”
And thats thatFirst of all…good for you for telling him you needed space….sometimes healing requires that you receive nothing from your ex..and asking for space puts you in control (as long as you do it without acting needy). Honestly it sounds like he is playing a power game with you. I know this is going to be very hard because it sounds like you are all about him at the moment…but right now you need to be all about you. It is a difficult transition to make but in the long run…it will only serve you. Take a Facebook fast, tell your friends to contact you via text…fill your time with things that you like to do. I would suggest closer to 60-90 days of no contact so that you gain some perspective on whether you actually want this guy back in your life. Don’t feel selfish at all for taking that much time….he determined the terms of the breakup….you get to determine whether you actually want him back in your life. Another thing is…if you do want him back…you are going to have to be patient and take things slow. I know a few people that got back with their ex and eventually married…but I know far more who got back together and then realized they were not as compatible as they initially thought and broke up again. So you have yo get to a point where you love your life regardless of whether he returns or not.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.