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Hey everyone – Day 28 NC for me
Thanks for sharing on this thread. I like it already. Tomorrow will be an interesting day for myself. It will be exactly 3 months since the breakup. Today I feel good just tired after a late night out with some guys. Life lesson for you kids don’t have a boozy night on the town when you have to get up early for work the next day. I ready to crash right now
Dara, great to hear from you man and yeah we needed a thread where we just continue to share updates on what is happening in our lives. Both the good and the bad and hopefully this thread can be that. I have been on this website most days, just the past month or so I just felt I’m not in a place to give advice as my personal situation hasn’t turned out the way I expected or wanted. But I’m here reading and decided that one way I can help is be supportive to others going through the same s**t as us. Man its so good to hear you are in a great place and going out with girls and being happy that it is not your ex. That is such a great place to be. I went on a date a couple of weeks ago and it was so flat. It just made me miss my Ex more. However I am getting out a little more compared to the first month of breakup. Last night I went out with some friends to an Irish bar and had a good night.
A.Z. you are a champ with your advice. Thank you for all those encouraging words and taking the time to read and reply to everyone’s post. Kevin may have to look at employing you shortly 🙂 You also seem in a great place to think you would be better off if you don’t get back with your Ex
Ms Marple – Thanks for sharing and welcome to the website. Some of us like Dara, AZ and myself have been here for a couple of months and the community here is very supportive and encouraging. I remember those first early weeks straight after the breakup and my emotions were all over the place. I would start crying anytime. I struggled to sleep and I would zone out. I remember one day at work about week 3 of the break up. I was sitting at my desk and I zoned out and when I came back to it. The guy who sits opposite of me said “welcome back”. I had been staring at the same spot for nearly 20mins with a blank look in my eyes. Its was very freaky and that would happen a lot. its still tough, but things are getting better and I put a lot of that down to the community here which listens to me when I share stuff.
I.A – you have the right attitude. Good one you for being positive and keeping active with sports, rock climbing etc. That’s been my biggest struggle for the last couple of months is staying motivated fitness wise. I have certainly got out of a regular fitness routine. Its my goal for this week, to go for at least 3 runs in the next 7 days
keep it up everyone and sorry for the long thread
Steve,
I’m glad to hear from you! I have started believing that you have some Irish root! LOL Most of my ex’s best friends have Irish roots! The wedding she attended about 2-3 days ago was kinda Irish! Her best friend’s kitchen is all green!
Yeah, I know what you say about the dates! It makes you miss your ex more than ever and you wish it was your ex instead of her! This feeling will vanish/lessen when you date more often.
I also liked the “welcome back” your colleagues said to you! Frankly, it made me laugh imagining someone staring at a point for 20 minutes! I also swimming pool a good place to think what happened between us in the past! I may stop swimming and start thinking about, “WHY?”.
The fact is that I also get confused with my ex. At some point feel that she was diamond in the rough while when I think about her rudeness, I imagine her as a devil! I have learned to not think much about her! She is not there and she has dumped me! This is the fact! LOL
Steve, you not getting your ex back does not mean that you have nothing to share or you are not good enough to suggest! Anyway, thank you for the thread! I will be glad to hear more from you!
Ms-Marple,
Probably Kevin works in a counseling center or is a psychologist. I truly admire him on setting up this site so that we can post comments for each other!
a.z.,
You inspire me! Thank you!
Best of luck everyone!!
Do you guys think it’s wise to give your ex a small compliment on the written letter? Wrote about everything else the letter needed but I’d like to make it feel a little more personal by giving her a small compliment. I just mention something I always liked about her in her. Nothing with beauty or appearance though. Let me know your thoughts. Thanks
Day 25 of NC
There are days in which I feel go great without her on my mind and there are days where she’s everywhere I look and my brain begins to crazy. I’ve done the mistake of checking what she’s posted recently on snap chat. I didn’t think it would be bad since when I post something she looks at it too. So I checked it out and it was like my eye were being exposed to a kind of drug that you only take by seeing it. My eyes lit up and took everything in. Big mistake. I regret it. The thoughts, assumptions, and memories started to kick in shortly after. I need to recuperate. Get up, dust my self off, chin high and walk away from it. Im better than this. I’m a new person and when the time comes she’ll be able to see it if she wishs too.
Hi I.A
I would say yes give a small compliment on your letter as long as its nothing sexual. In the letter from Relationship Rewind, Ryan suggests you write some of the things that you liked about her and found attractive and show that you noticed things in her life that others don’t. Give them a taste of bliss but don’t go overboard.I know the whole check out what is happening on profiles and it is like a drug that feels good at first, but in the end it doesn’t satisfy and leaves you feeling more hurt and lost. I have to remind myself that people only share the goods things in their life on Facebook etc and so it can be very fake as you are not getting the full picture of what’s going on
Day 29 of NC – For myself. Today is 3 months since my Ex broke up with me. have been surprising good and stable today. Did a bunch of stuff around the house to keep myself busy and went to the movies in the evening and it worked. I feel good today.
Steve,
Thank you, that is very true and I’ll have to remind myself that from now on if I ever stumble on her posts. I’ve decided on to you her up anymore. I will also be include including that in my letter. Glad to hear you’re holding up strong. Productive days are the best to get your mind off things such as your ex.
Good luck to you
Guys,
Yesterday, I was on a trip. Thinking on what my ex might be doing now chased me like a shadow. After the trip I went to a friends house to drink some beer. I ended up sleeping there till 4 a.m. Meanwhile, its also been about 2 weeks since my ex and I exchanged our last emails. I used to think that my ex’s best friend does not like me. I posted a short comment on one of her posts on Facebook right after emails. To my surprise, she “liked” the short comment.
Today when I came home, at 4 a.m., I checked Facebook. My ex’s best friend posted an album on the wedding that they attended 20 days ago. It was a bit of surprise to me for some reasons. First of all, my ex was present in every picture. It looked like as if it was my ex who had made the album. Secondly, this album is made 20 days after the wedding. I started making assumptions in my mind (which ideally, I should not do).
My assumption was that it was a kind of, “remember her” since my ex and I did not contact again after 2 weeks! I think they are working/planning together. My ex did not reply to my last email probably to check the begging/needy/clingy part of my personality that had developed in the last days of our relationship. This assumption is by far too positive and self-destructive if it’s false. So I wrote it here to get it out of my mind.
Side note: My ex seemed to have gained a lot of weight in those pictures and sympathizing part of my personality says that she had rough days lately.
I feel bad checking Facebook now. I don’t want to think about her. Plus, I want to “accidentally” bump into her instead of contacting her.
By the way, my ex said that I force her. In fact, our conversations were like this:
Me: Which movie do you want to see, X or Y?
She: No sure, maybe X but not sure.
Me: If not sure, I like Y more. Lets watch Y.
She: okLater she said, you impose your opinion over mine and never listen to me!
Oh oh! Wrong post! This is what happens when you open a lot of tabs! Sorry guys! 😀
Hey guys,
steve and dara you are being so nice to me 😀 thank you so much guys xxxsteve,
You are doing great,its normal if you feel low sometimes focus on your life,get yourself busy and avoid any thought in your mind that might be negative.like i always say make positive changes in your life,as much as possible.the more the positive changes,the more you’ll impress her.LA,
You are also experiencing a really normal thing.when ever you feel low,know that its normal and that you are doing the best thing to help yourself and focus on something interesting.stop negative thinking and don’t stalk her.i know you don’t stalk her but don’t check her pictures.i said this to many other friends that when i broke up with my ex,i stopped checking my Fb for a full month.
Upload photos that show you are having a great time in your life.
Post something about your goals in life,something she knows you always wanted to do.it would be really great if you really do something about it.thats really attractive.
Like you said,her photos or anything about her is like a drug.stop taking it for a little while.help yourself and let NC do its job the best way.Dara,
I agree with you,her friend is trying to remind you of her.and i’m sure she is surprised how strong you have become.and she has absolutely felt the positive changes in you.
Good luck everyone and i’m really happy to have you guys here.it really does feel like a family.
And steve,i posted an update from my situation in title of a.z’s final episode so i’ll post it here.
So previously on me :D….,about 12 days ago,he asked me to give him a chance to see me cuz it was hard for him to cut everything all of a sudden.and i was sure it was nothing about getting back together.
I’v been thinking and after this whole time,i think i really couldn’t meet him just to say goodbye.he had 5 months to think about it and he really doesn’t want me back so i texted him and asked how he was doing.
He replied like he was really happy that i texted him and asked me how i was?
I said: i’m fine and that i’m sorry but i need to move on so i’m blocking you and everyone around you on fb ,so non of us will see or hear anything about each other.He said:Ok baby,i really wish u all the best and i always want you to be happy from the deepest part of my heart.
I said:wish you the same as well.always be the same person you were in our relationship.i’m gonna miss you but there is no other way.i’m sorry i broke the deal,the meeting could keep me from moving on for awhile.
He said:i forgot to say,i think i’m moving to another country by the next few months.
He used to say if we move somewhere out of the states,far from his family.we could get married.and the day we were breaking up,he cried and said:getting married is the only way we can be with each other but its not possible now and here.get your degree and go to another country,i promise i will fix my life and i’ll be there to start a new life with you.
I don’t know if he said that because he wanted to remind me of his promises or he just wanted to tell me about his future plans.and i’m not focusing on his words.i’m starting NC indefinitely and i don’t care if he has moved on or he is moving on or whatever.i’m focusing on my life and i’m really moving on.
Thank you guys for helping and supporting me through all my painful moments.i don’t really know how i could ever thank you enough.Kevin,
Your plan,your words,your emails…,you made me a stronger person.i really wish i could do something for you in return.i have learned a lot.and i’m sure i’m gonna be successful in my next relationship.i even see this situation as a success.5 months ago,i couldn’t even imagine losing him forever and now,i could cut it myself.i really appreciate everything you did to help me and everyone here.Thank you very much kevin.I’m gonna be here to help others as much as i can.i can live without my ex but i guess i can’t live without this website LOL
Thank you everyone
And then again a few hours later
He texted me and said he hates my future boyfriend,fiance and my husband out of nowhere :O
I didn’t say anything and again
He said: i feel really bad and the breakup affected me so bad and if i start a new relationship ever again,i won’t do anything to hurt her like i did to you.get on with your life and never think about a future with me.everything is torturing me.i’m sorry i love you:********************I felt rejected for a few minutes but now i’m really fine.i don’t care what he says or what he thinks.and i feel really relaxed without him in my life.
Hey guys!
I’m loving the fact that people here actually talk to each other about all of this! It’s a relief to have people around who get it.Back ground posts on me: He says he realized he loves me but isn’t ready to commit. I never asked him to commit at all but he says that he would and isn’t ready, but maybe if our lives change he can in the future. I have kids but he always told me it wasn’t a problem until he realized he wanted to tell me he was in love with me. We’re both in our early 20s and dated for about 6 months. Is it even worth trying or hoping? I’m not sure how to handle it. I think he’s afraid he’ll feel held back from living his life even though I’m not asking for that type of commitment at this point. Being afraid of kids is a big thing… They aren’t going anywhere so I’m wondering if it’s worth it to even think about trying anything after NC. His birthday is coming up soon and I’m already tempted to message him on the big day. I had plans for that day while we were still together. I keep reminding myself of the cons involved, how he said he wasn’t ready to commit to a woman with kids even though he loves me. I was forced to see him and things were friendly until we slipped into old happy patterns of behavior. We both became a little emotional and then he left. This whole situation has my head turning still! I really don’t want to breakdown, I know I’ll have to restart NC if I do.
a.z
I am dealing with someone who couldn’t seem to stop himself from saying he cares even though he wants it cut off too! It’s so hard to deal with, it makes everything confusing. I’m glad to hear that you’re feeling that strong with yourself though! Keep your head up, that last bit almost sounds like he might message again with how confused he is.Dara LA Steve
I’m giving up on social media. I’ve deleted everything I can as far messages but I can’t stop myself from looking at profiles or hoping something from him will pop up! It’s too easy to just jump over and check his page and then all the memories come back and I start wondering how he can seem that happy and did he even care?Dara
That does seem like the friend is trying to draw your attention to her! The example of conversation that you gave didn’t seem like you were forcing anything to me.Hey guys! First time to visit the boards. Ive been very busy lately. But posted in the comment section yesterday. BTW!
What happenes here? Why is everyone moving on al of a sudden? Have i been away that long lol? At first it was only me ans Dara. Now i heard az and Raed are moving on too?
And Dara whats with the struggle? I thought you were doing great. Im bot aware that you still think of her at times. I missed you guys! I saw that they also call us the “old” group now. LOL.
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