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My ex girlfriend broke up with me about two months ago. My best guess for the reason why is that I made my self too available, always doing things to please her and texting more than she would have liked.
Here is the outline of the breakup itself:
Day 1: I went over to her place and she told me she didn’t love me anymore and didn’t see a future. There wasn’t much explanation beyond that. Despite my concerted efforts to convince her otherwise, she stood firm, though she did cry frequently during the discussion. She was still affectionate and by the end of the night we were in bed together for one last roll in the sheets.
Day 2: I woke up in the morning and she still wanted to breakup. I gave her back her spare house keys and left for work. I didn’t contact her all day and by 9:30 that evening she was sending me pictures and saying she missed me. She then invited me over to her place that Saturday. I said yes.
Day 3: A few texts
Day 4: Saturday morning she texts me let’s cancel. I try to sway her but she’s standing firm again and said we should go for no contact. I write her an e-mail that night, we’ll call that e-mail #1, and it wasn’t asking for her back but saying how much I cared for her and wish things could have turned out differently.
Day 5: I was convinced that all hope was lost but that evening she sends a short e-mail saying that e-mail #1 moved her and she was willing to try again, saying it was up to me. I accepted the offer, probably too quickly, even though I knew I wouldn’t see her for a couple of days.
Day 6: A few texts
Day 7: A few texts
Day 8: She texts me during my lunch break that we should stay broken up.
Day 9: I try to make magic happen again with a second e-mail but it just made me look desperate and helpless. I’m not sure if that blew my chances. Her only response was: respect my decision to end the relationship I will no longer be responding, it’s meant for us both to heal faster.
It’s been just shy of two months since she sent that text and we have had zero contact. The only thing that changed was that she unfriended me on snapchat, a couple of weeks later she unfriended me on facebook, and a few weeks after that she made it so I couldn’t see her instagram photos.
My question is this: since she requested that there be no contact, would the no contact rule have any effect in my case, or has she found some sort of loop hole? It seems like my silence is just making it easier for her to move on. Is it possible that I’ll just have to wait even longer without contact? 3 months, 6 months? I just don’t know how much time would make a difference.
I should also mention that we dated for ten months. A couple of weeks before the breakup we agreed that we’d like to move in together. She also said I was the best boyfriend she’s ever had.
I’m in a similar situation as far why we broke up and maybe I partied too much though. We would text here and there through January but I realized it was only causing me more self doubt and pain and was not able to move on. So I backed off and stopped contact and she continued to contact me about once a week and she finally stopped. I never told her that I would be cutting contact but I think she realized that I was trying to better myself. I only know that I’m not able to move on by being in contact with her. I still want her in my life but it’s just not a good time while I’m trying to heal.
Shes obviously following no contact because she is trying to heal as well. I would just give it more time, but like some one told me “you don’t want to wait around for her to come back because what if she never does.” That would be even more painful. I still want my ex back and I’m sure she still thinks about me but I agreed why she broke up with me and I’ve been trying to accept it. I just want to be 100 percent confident that I will be fine and will be able to move on when I try to reconnect with her. I keep reading how no contact is for YOU and not HER and that’s how I’m trying to approach it. It’s still very difficult. I want to contact her everyday but I have to keep moving forward. Good luck brother
@bob2625 Thanks for the words of encouragement, I will certainly try to focus on no contact for my sake rather than for hers.
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