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my long distance ex and I used to have a great relationship, but he dumped me two weeks ago because he said my mental illness/suicide attempts made him feel helpless, and that he would feel better knowing I didn’t attempt against my life while being in a relationship with him. it hurt, and I haven’t talked to him in two weeks, but still love him. what do I do?
@stacey – I read your other post and I’m sorry for your situation. I’m glad your in therapy for your bi-polar condition / depression. The thing is that guys don’t want a girlfriend who has mental problems and all the drama that goes with it and even if his sister has the same condition. Right now you need to focus on getting better and that will take a very long time to become stable enough for a relationship. Just remember guys want to be around people who are happy and they don’t want stress don’t want stressful interactions that cause anxiety and tension. Please focus on yourself for now and don’t bother your ex because at this point he’s fed up and doesn’t want to hear any more of your troubles. Sorry, but that’s the truth. If you contact him, it will push him further and further away. Maybe in 6 months to a year, you will be different and the bad memories of you will fade. Please know there is help for your condition (therapy + medications). You have your whole life in front of you and you have the power to make it better and happier.
@patricia12 – Thank you for the advice, but I also wonder if you genuinely believe women who suffer from bipolar disorder/depression cannot find empathy with any man? I have friends who suffer from mental illness and are in relationships with people who are beyond kind, supportive and empathetic with them. Unfortunately bipolar disorder and depression is not something that can be cured; I have been battling it since a very young age, and yes, as you’ve said, I truly have the power to make my life better and happier. I was upfront with him about this since the beginning and he told me he would be supportive no matter what but that was clearly not the case. I do not like the way I was treated during the break up call, because he made me feel like I was insane and useless as a human being.
I will continue focusing on myself and getting better, but I cannot change my mental condition and I want him and anyone else I may date in the future to know this. I have not contacted him since the break up. I have removed him from all forms of social media.
@stacey – My ex sister-in-law was diagnosed bipolar many years ago and I knew her for 8 of those years. She was happy and a pleasure to be around except for only 2 occasions when she cancelled our plans to go shopping and wouldn’t answer her phone. She later told me it was because she was depressed for a day or so. Before I met her she had been in therapy and actually took the advice to heart from the therapist. She was also on medication (don’t remember which one), but she told me the first one didn’t help her so the doctor changed it. The lessons she learned with the therapist together with the right meds, she was very stable and happy with herself and life in general. Another thing is that most guys don’t really like long distant as it’s too difficult to maintain the close feelings. I’m sorry he wasn’t supportive when you wanted him to be, but most guys can only take so much drama before they become exhausted and leave. Don’t be angry with him about the break up call as it serves no good purpose for you to hold onto anger. Perhaps he was tired of your neediness and frustrated not knowing how to help you get to a place where you would feel better about life and the relationship in general.. Still no excuse, but maybe understandable. Anyway, I’m glad you haven’t contacted him and removed him from social media because if you stalk his page it will only make you more sad and hurt. Continue with the focus of getting better and it IS possible, you have to believe that and want it for yourself:)
Good luck and God Bless..
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