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Boards No Contact Rule Should I date someone as well during the No Contact Rule?

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Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 32 total)
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  • #72759

    millionreasons
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 18

    @patricia12 – What I’m thinking is she’s giving me the time and space that I asked for.

    With what I did, do you think that she will think of me or even miss me?

    I’m already laying down plans on what to do and the things that I need to change. I’m quite excited about it. I’ll be honest that I want to change for myself but I’m also doing this so that I can show her that I’ve changed after the No Contact period.

    #72761

    patricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2060

    @millionreasons – Yeah, maybe she’s just giving you the time and space you asked for. Sure, she’ll think of you sometimes and she might miss you too. But please don’t dwell on these things! It’s important to change for yourself because it will allow you to have a better relationship in the future, whether with her or with someone else. I’m glad you’re going to make positive changes as I know you will be able to interact more appropriately and be happier with yourself:)

    #72764

    millionreasons
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 18

    @patricia12 – That’s what I’m thinking as well that this will improve me but I do hope that there’s still a chance between us. I’m quite excited when the time that will approach her comes.

    Yeah, what I’m doing is hard but this is a process. 🙂

    #72766

    millionreasons
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 18

    @patricia12 – I want to be angry right now with her. She just posted a picture on IG (she has public posts) of flowers sent by her ex. I don’t know what to do. It freaking hurts. How can I not think that the ex is the reason of our break up and not my attitude? What should I do?

    #72767

    patricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2060

    @millionreasons – You should do nothing. Don’t be angry. Continue working on yourself and don’t stalk her social media as it won’t help you.

    #72786

    millionreasons
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 18

    @patricia12 – I did not message her or what but I can’t stop stalking her social media accounts. She just posted a picture together with her ex with the caption, why don’t we try again? Haha.

    I was on the verge of sending her a message last night because I was so hurt and angry but I did not to because that will break the No Contact Rule and it will show that I’m still immature, dependent and childish.

    Do you think she’s just testing me? She posted these things right after telling her that I need the time and space for myself. It hurts so bad to see that.

    #72787

    patricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2060

    @millionreasons – Stop stalking her social media! I don’t know what it means. Stop obsessing as it won’t help. Glad you didn’t message her. Focus on yourself and continue no contact. Whatever will be, will be.. remember that.

    #72793

    millionreasons
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 18

    @patricia12 – Thank you for the advice. By the way, we have this concert that will be tomorrow night, I gave her ticket already but mine is here. I don’t want to come because I will just feel sad if she will not be there. I’m not sure though if she will come or what. What’s your thoughts about this?

    Thanks.

    #72794

    patricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2060

    @millionreasons – If I were you, I wouldn’t go. You’ve only been split up for less than 3 weeks and your emotions are still raw. If she’s there and you say or do something needy or childish, it will prove you haven’t changed. You will be sad if you go and she ignores you and you will be sad if she doesn’t go and you will be sad if she invites her guy friend to go too. Stay strong and focus on YOU.

    #72795

    millionreasons
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 18

    @patricia12 – Its quite impossible to bring her guy friend because the concert has reserved seating.

    Thats what I’m also thinking, there’s more harm than good. I mean, the chances that she will be there to reconcile and be normal will be closer to none.

    #72796

    patricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2060

    @millionreasons
    No, she won’t be there to reconcile. However, if you want to satisfy your curiosity, go. But I warned you, lol. Since it’s reserved seating, I guess your seats are next to each other. It might be awkward if she shows up, but don’t be surprised if she doesn’t. And if she doesn’t show up, don’t ever ask her why?! She might be spending Friday night with he guy friend. If you go, let us know what happened. My suggestion is to continue no contact and work on yourself.

    #72798

    millionreasons
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 18

    @patricia12 – Yes, I will never ask her why if she did not come. I’ll think about it if I will be going or not.

    By the way, about my self improvement. I can say that I’m somehow improving, yes sometimes it still hurts but I keep my mind busy.

    #72816

    millionreasons
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 18

    @patricia12 – Hi Patricia! I did not go to the concert.

    I started to think the whole point of no contact. I got things done for myself earlier today and it feels so good to do everything on my own and love myself. I’m quite okay now but I’m scared when loneliness strikes back again on the situation.

    If everything will be okay for me, let’s say a week a two and I’m confident again with myself and I know that I’ve been better. Can I already talk to her or should I go for 1 whole month?

    On the back of my mind, I want us to be on good terms and let me show her that I’ve changed and can be friends on or before my birthday which is on the 15th of March because I’m quite scared that there is this chance that when the time I will contact her, it will be too late? What’s your thought about this?

    By the way, I told a friend about my situation and I was mind blown by his advice and opinion about it. He told me that I should never think that I was a rebound relationship because I was introduced to the family and her mom really loves me, she even told me that I am still welcome to the family after the breakup. He (my friend) told me that if that was not serious or I am just a rebound, it will never be like that. He told me that yeah, an attitude is a part of our breakup but surely, the ex was making a scene all along and when our relationship started to become blurry, the nostalgic feelings with her ex came back because they’ve been together for 4 years so I was the odd man out. My friend told me as well that if there is a rebound here, its the ex boyfriend because she’s hanging on to those feelings just to be happy, in short she’s running away from the problem and not facing it.

    I don’t want to get my hopes high here but somehow I’m a little relieved. Just like what I’ve said earlier I don’t want to ride this feeling of being okay because it will be like hell again if I feel sad.

    I need your opinions on everything, Patricia.

    Thank you.

    #72827

    patricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2060

    @millionreasons – I’m glad you didn’t go to the concert.
    You contacted her last week to let her know you were doing no contact. So stay no contact for the full month until just before your birthday. Another 3 weeks won’t change anything. You need to understand that no contact is NOT a way to manipulate someone to return, it’s the time to work on your issues to improve. There’s no guarantee she will return no matter what you do or when you do it!! So the focus is to be on you, not on what she might think or do. You have no control over her emotions. There’s no way to know if you were a rebound or the other guy is now a rebound. Stop playing guessing games and deal with the facts! She left you for a reason and you need to work on that reason. And keep in mind she may never come back to you no matter what you say or do. Nobody likes being rejected and it always makes people sad. That can’t be avoided, you just have to go through it the best you can. Continue no contact and try not to think ahead. When the time comes to contact her and if you get the chance to talk to her or see her and she notices the improvements, she might want to either just be friends or think about getting back together. Don’t stalk social media…
    Good luck

    #72852

    millionreasons
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 18

    @patricia12 – Hi, I’ve been doing better now. I got myself some things but now I feel so devastated. I want to be angry with her. I saw our common friends like the relationship status of the girl, she is now back together with the guy. I want to be angry as hell for not being honest. I feel so disrespected. Its less than a month then this is what happens. I want to message her how I feel and all but I’m thinking about it because on Tuesday, I will go to my previous office to get some documents and her cousins are there (the one who introduced me to her). I don’t know what will my approach will be. I feel so cheated right now and so devastated.

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