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First off, if you are just starting NC and having trouble…keep going, it’s not that hard. Just believe in yourself and think you’re doing better than her. Focus and follow through.
Having said that I went the 30 days, some minor social media stalking but she did the same. I know it.
Ironically enough on day 30 I sent a letter for thanking her, agreeing and telling her how well I’m doing. 40 minutes after I put the letter in the mailbox she texts me when Can I come get my stuff back, lol. After being a pro, (I started the gym-began a new job-sought out therapy,) I went back to my old way and feel like I threw it all away…
Basically instead of letting her know I could come by after the holiday, we both turned it into a 4 hour text Marathon. My only question now being did we do it cause we weren’t ready for the games and am I really just too nice and want someone to either come back or be done.
Anywho the jist of it is she tells me she’s having minor kidney troubles with hospital visits… I ask why she couldn’t have told me and she began the downfall. “It wasn’t right to tell you, I hope the best for you, hope you get what you’re looking for, I’m sorry I dragged the relationship on when I really wasn’t into it…I met someone new” etc
Now, I’m not worried about this guy. He’s much older, albeit more successful at life, he’s got kids already and I don’t believe it’s in her to him being the one, so I said good luck and I hope it works out, I’m happy for you. She says she’s ready and we didn’t have the “depth” she was seeking and maybe found.
rather than just let her get off on herself and let me be mysterious I let her know my good things but I’m worried if I came off as desperate in a sense…I let her know I got the new job I was wanting, let her know I’m not involved with my same circle of friends, let her know I got therapy and have been at the gym 6 times a week and loving it.
I don’t play games well, even for someone who crushed No Contact. I truly care about her, would love her back, and she obviously still knows it now. We haven’t spoken since, she’s not with him for the holiday-she’s taking a solo trip to the mountains. I feel if I were mysterious this would be a time she would’ve opened up to me and possibly began the rekindle phase. Now we know each other’s stuff and if she’s not impressed enough she’s going to be gone as we approach day 40-50 when they start to fade.
Did I rush it? Did I fail? Or were we just not ready and better off anyway…like I said she found older and kinda done with life, haha. I want younger and ready for the adventure…
Wondering if it’ll just let her go and she won’t come back cause it’s not a challenge, or maybe she’ll want to reconcile when we exchange our belongings.
On this thanksgiving I’m thankful for our time spent and thankful for your opinions.
Best of luck to anyone who needs help during NC. I promise I’m an over-thinker and I did just fine and you will too.
Focus on YOU.
Thank y’all
@mike.pedrazas – She broke up with you for reasons you didn’t state and now she’s moved on. Don’t feel badly about letting her know more things about you as it was the simply the truth. She probably already suspects you would like to get back together, so no need to play the game of acting mysterious. Nothing you said will cause her to not want to get back with you if she wants to or make her not want to get back. Stop thinking of what you said as not being a challenge. The next contact should only be to arrange a time and place to exchange your stuff and other than that, don’t contact her again. Only time will tell what happens here.. Good luck.
Thank you.
She said we lacked “depth”, and that’s what she wants and needs from someone. Cause she’s “ready.”
Thanks again.
We agreed to exchange stuff and we did so very briefly yesterday. She said my stuff at her place was “too much shit”…even thou I believe it only to be a duffel bag of miscellaneous stuff. So now there’s another day we have to schedule for me to come get it. But she’s busy this weekend with her birthday stuff.
Onward I go!
@mikepedrazas – Message her and ask when it’s convenient for you to go over to pick up your things and then continue no contact. Is she still seeing the other guy?
Didn’t ask/say, it was a two minute exchange. I believe her to still be seeing him. I’d probably find out over the weekend via social media cause it’s her birthday and she’s running a big race for it.
I’d probably send her a happy birthday text/a check in when I can come get my stuff.
Either way, I’m in a new good place with my therapy and only continue focusing on me.
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