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Boards Reconciliation Was he just a player?

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  • #72931

    Angela
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 1

    Hallo every one!
    I first apologize for my bad english, i just started with it.I try to write as good as i can.

    Now my story. I hope you have time, it`s huge and complicated.

    I was together with my ex for 7 years. But the last year I was thinking and discussing with my best friend if i really would be happy with him for the rest of my life. We have been planing to get married. As well as i was at a point of my life where i was thinking is this really the “end”? I mean i was just working and living in this small town i grow up. So i decided to clear up my mind, it would maybe be good to travel a bit and find out what i really want from my life. So I had to find out that i don`t really miss my, at this time, Boyfriend. And I told him that, we decided to slow down the contact so that i have time for me.

    At this time i was in Australia and i totally feel in love with that country, or more with the suburb i lift. One moth after i arrived in Australia i met the Guy of my life, i guess. And here the problem starts.I saw him in that pub and totally feel in love with him. But i was drunk and I went home with him at that night. And i totally forget my Boyfriend. This was the fucking bad start.

    After that night I went home and i was sure i wouldt see him again, i mean we already had sex. But he wrote me the day after, we went for a coffee. And from this day on we started to date, of course i didt told him that i actually had a BF at home.
    and I didt want to brake up with my BF just trough the Phone, I thought thats not fair after all this years. If I would be again in this Situation, i would!

    Util here we have to points, he told my afterwards, why he broke up with me:
    1. because i sleep with him in the first night
    2. because i had a BF and i did`t told him that i had a BF

    So we went on to date. Than he went for a 2 week travel and i again thought, ok thats it. but he wrote me every day, so i startet to hope the he eventually could be in love with me. we saw us 1 day, than i had to leave Australia and go on with my travel. and he wrote every day! i was so surprised. after 3 weeks, i decided to go back to Australia to finde out what this is between us and if we really would work as couple. and that i brake up with my ex. he was actually really relaxt about that.
    When i asked de Aussi, if he would be happy if i come back. he just told me, just come back if you rally want that. we can keep in touch i am planning to travel to Europe, we can catch up there sometimes and date. I told him that i really want to come back and check out Australia for jobs. but i can just come if i don`t have to pay for accommodation. so we decided that i would life with him.

    Until here everything is fine.

    we had a great first week. than i thought i should tell him that i was in a relationship when i met him, so i did. and he exploded. which i understand partially.
    after that he went to a festival for 1 week, but he did`t kickt me out or anything else. and he wrote me every day.even if he was angry.

    when he came back we had shit 2 weeks. because we where not sure how to go one with each other. then he want to have a conversation. so we talkt about all, and he told me:because of that he can not trust me. but we can go on an try it. maybe it will work. but we are not in a relationship.

    we had a good time until one horrible night.
    i went out with his Housemate who is from the same town as i am…hahah. just to have some drinks. after an hour my Aussi wrote when i come back. i told him i will come in 1h.
    and i was punctual. but i know that he had to get up early and i don’t want him to wake up, so i get in to my “Pyama” in the bathroom. when i came in to the room, he turn on the light an saw me in the “Pyama” and asked me, why are you already in your “Pyama”‘
    we had a big fight because he was thinking that i cheated on him. he almost kicked me out. but at the next morning he came to me and asked, can we forget this night? i am sorry about that.
    and i forgave him.

    then we had an amazing time but he didt want to agree that we have a relationship. in he's option we where just trying. i couldt convince him to a relationship.

    than i leaved AUS. to go home. the last two weeks he was talking really positiv,
    like “when you come….”. so i was sure he likes me as i like him. and he actually told me that at the airport. and i told him that i want him to come for 2-3 weeks to my town to see where i am from. this was important to me.

    when i was home, we wrote every day. and i was asking him every week when he can come as i miss him and i need to plan. as i was planing at this time to go back as fast as possible to AUS.
    and than 1 month after i left AUS he broke up with this simple message after i asked him how we should go one when i come back:
    i think you are a very nice person and i enjoy to be around you but i dont think that this is going to work sorry.Maybe if we met under different circumstances things would be different, but thats not the case.

    after that i was broken. i didt wrote back 2 days. than i wrote something: i like him and i miss him bur maybe its better to start as good friend when i am back but i would accept if he don`t want.

    since than i hear nothing from him, this is now 2 day ago.
    and i am down, i guess i lost him.
    what can i do? i am here in EU he is there in AUS.
    should i still go back as i was planing? i really thing that we would be a good couple!
    i don`t understand why he broke up out of nothing???

    o wow this was s good to write al this thing down. hope you can hale me Kevin

    #72981

    mr_the_ex
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 33

    I don’t know. It sounds like you had a good relationship. It had only been a couple days. I’d give him some time to think about things and write back. I wonder if he broke up because he knows you will away from each other in different countries and it is difficult for him to deal with being alone.

    A few days is really a short time. Maybe you should have no contact for a few more days and then think about what you should do then.

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