Boards No Contact Rule What Now?

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  • #75811
    FallingStar85
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    • Total Posts: 4

    So, I have posted on here before, but I need a little more advice with where the situation is right now. To recap, my ex and I were together for almost two years, he lived with me for about a year and a half. One day I came home from work to find his things packed up and he told me that he found his own place. He said that he had been thinking about breaking up for a while because we were just too different and he didn’t think things were working out. The first couple weeks after the breakup, we talked practically everyday, he still came over quite a bit to see me and get his things, he still called me “baby” and hugged and kissed me. It wasn’t until about three weeks after we broke up and he ended up going out on a date with someone that all of that changed. I told him how hurt I was over it and he got mad at me and defensive and we fought. We ended up making up, but after that, the affection and the pet names etc all stopped. That was about the time I learned about the no contact rule and decided to try it out. I never told him that I was doing no contact, I just stopped messaging him. It’s been a few weeks now and he’s sent me a just a few funny/cute pictures in which I’d reply with a “lol” or “awwww” but not continue any kind of conversation. Now this weekend he’s escalated his messages to more personal things like “I hope you’re having a good day” and the day after I changed my Facebook picture he said “I love your new pic. Super cute :)”. Today I thought I’d test the waters and send him a picture that referenced a show we used to watch together that was kinda flirty and he responded with a ;). Now the problem is, I know there’s still something going on with the girl he went out with about a month ago, I’m pretty sure it’s just a friends with benefits thing, but it’s still a thing none the less. And, when we broke up I did agree to be friends with him. So, do you think he’s just trying to be friendly with me? Should I go back to no contact? What should my next plan of action be?

    #75818
    patricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2868

    @FallingStar85 – You started living together 6 months after you started dating which was way too soon. Then he lived with you almost a year and a half, which was enough time for him to determine if you’re compatible or not. He felt the relationship wasn’t working so he moved out. Even though you told him you were hurt that he was with someone else and it was the truth, I’m sure he thought he had a right to date her as you two had parted ways and that’s why he got angry. You had agreed to be friends and yet you were acting jealous. Yes, to me his messages just sound friendly. Yes, definitely start no contact! You can either just stop replying to his messages or write one more short note to tell him you want no contact for awhile so you can try to adjust to the transition of the relationship. This will also give him time to think more seriously about you and what he lost. I know you’re heartbroken, but hopefully things will work out in the long run. Also think what might have been some of the reasons he chose to break up with you and if there are any changes you could make to improve. Wish you the best..

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